Time Trial & Error

Quick recap: OPQS rule the world. And BMC were up bright and early doing what they do best: bein' awesome.

On this, the final day of Tirreno-Adriatico, loyalties are very divided:

1) Alex finally gets a chance to shine.

2) Tony the Tiger can add his own feather to the cap of OPQS Dominance. (Though I mean, what can you say beyond GREATEST TEAM EVER)

3) And of course, FAB. He's already enough on his own, but also IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY! In these circumstances, I will struggle to cheer for anyone else. Thank god Taylor's only riding the laugh track or we'd really be in trouble.

Sooooo, three way tie? Yes?

And if Bertie tries to hijack this one, I've got three words: injuries and menace.  And four more after that: chainring to the ribs.

Oh my god, I swear I'm not doing this on purpose... I forgot Brad Wiggins was in this race AGAIN.

The stage is set... the engines are revving... and Matteo Trentin has given us the theme of the day: #fast #faster.

Cadel has withdrawn from the race this morning. Obviously didn't fancy his chances against the clock. Don't see what the big deal is, it's not like Tejay is here to eclipse him.

I kinda feel bad through. He's sort of becoming a figure of tragedy like the old-school champs who suffered mental collapse in later life because they just couldn't compete with Eddy Merckx.

Serrrrriously. We are in mind meld right now. Now and anytime he mentions Nandos.

....

Are we gonna have a race or what?  What the hell time is CET?

Alex is on the road right? Why does the internet world not seem to care?? BRING ME UPDATES!

Awww. He's not even the best at this early stage. Someone nicknamed "The Butterfly" has bested him by 1 second. Same surname, but not to be confused with the tiniest man in cycling, Sammy Dumoulin.

And now the Panzerwagon is on the start ramp.

Malori has the new best time. Great name. And win or lose, he was going to get the blame anyway.

Tony is in +15 on Malori. Well. Looks like it's going to be a lot easier to root for Fab than I thought!

The first stand-out time was set by Alex Dowsett (Movistar), who clocked a fine 10:33.  The people at cyclingnews and I could definitely be friends.

Fabian Cancellara is in the start house about to start his time trial while Bradley Wiggins is already out on the course, four minutes into his effort.  SHIT. JUST. GOT. REAL.

Short and sweet. Let's get this party started.

Well I'm glad you asked, Tejay!  Think it'll have to be the Fireworks of Tirreno for me. Paris-Nice had some fantastic moments, but a lot of it seemed to be Betancur winning and Rui Costa coming second, day after day. Maybe if Taylor had jazzed it up at Paris-Nice and Tirreno hadn't been so damn electric (and so OPQS-awesome), it would've been a more even match.

Fab plays it cool: "Time trials don’t interest me as much as they once did. I don’t get the same feeling of happiness and satisfaction that I once did. I'm not ashamed to say that because it’s the truth."

Meanwhile Brad can't stop ratcheting up unrealistic expectations: "I had a good team time trial and a lot of my training has been about making short, intense efforts for making efforts at Paris-Roubaix, so that's good for time trialling too."

Wiggo beats Tiger Tony, but it's not good enough to best Malori.

Second??!  He nearly caught minute man Dan Martin!

Better prep the Sol y Sambra on the Movistar bus, Malori is going nowhere.

Uhhhh, I AM READY FOR THE CLASSICS TOO!!! Screw the time trial, bring on Roubaix!!

Oh my god, Kwiatkowski has yet to go! I FORGOT. He will no doubt storm it and upturn the whole thing!

We seem to have entered radio silence. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE WORLD!

It's been a long wait in the hot seat for Adriano Malori, and the final starter Alberto Contador is still almost 40 minutes away.  No. kidding.

Speaking to Tuttobici, Malori reckoned that the stiffest challenge to his time from this yet to start will come from Michal Kwiatkowski. "I've looked at the list: on paper, the only one to fear is Kwiatkowski," Malori said. Um, hello, what did I JUST SAY! Malori and I know what's what.

Oh man Kwiatek is out on the road.

RAI coverage is suffering a PR nightmare these days.

He's got too many nicknames, but YES!!!!! GO KWIATO!!

"I won't trust it until he's crossed the finish line," Malori tells RAI. "Winning today would be a dream. My objective for the year is to get closer to the big guns of world time trialling with an aim to winning a medal at the Worlds. It seems like I'm on the right path." Oh tug at my heart strings why don't you!! This is unmerciful.

Meh. Disappointment after disappointment today. Contador might as well win and put the final nail in the depression coffin.

Actually no, that's just a step too far I think. I take it back I take it back.

Michal Kwiatkowski has declared himself satisfied with his showing this afternoon. "It was a really hard course for me, it didn’t really suit me but I gave it my all as it’s only my second TT of the year as I wanted to see how I felt," Kwiatkowski told RAI on crossing the line. "I wasn’t bad."  NO YOU WEREN'T MICHAL!!  And considering he led the race until Bertie and his steaks and his Clenbuterol took it from him, it's a DAMN IMPRESSIVE showing!

Seriously, read that CycleSport article. You will never feel objective about him again.

Adriano Malori is already being shepherded towards the podium area.  Woah woah, let's not tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing! There's people still left to race here!

The top of the provisional standings has remained unchanged for much of the past hour, with the top five as follows:
1 Adriano Malori (Ita) Lampre-Merida 10:13
2 Fabian Cancellara (Swi) Trek 10:19
3 Bradley Wiggins (GBr) Sky 10:24
4 Tony Martin (Ger) Omega Pharma-QuickStep 10:28
5 Tom Dumoulin (Ned) Giant-Shimano 10:32

And Alex, just out of the frame.

Oh yeah Kreuzinger is up there. I wish he'd beat Contador, both today and in the whole damn race.

A relaxed Alberto Contador rolls down the start ramp.  'Relaxed' here meaning high as a Clenbuterol-fuelled kite.

Someone let Ted King into a race please. He can't stop talking about SPACE LEGS.

Doesn't look like Kreuziger will fulfil my wish. Podium positions look set if the Witch Doctor comes in under 11 minutes.

Well an ok day there in the end. Contador takes the race overall (will just go ahead and ignore that), but Malori gets the day's win. And also Kreuziger beat Contador in the time trial, so a wee kick in the nuts there.

Yeaaah. Pretty good.