Abu Dhabi Tour Stage 4/ Paris-Tours:
I can't get over yesterday. Can anyone get over yesterday??
There's bad luck and then there's staging the most badass chase/comeback to absolutely BOSS the stage and win the whole damn race only to SLIP in the FINAL FUCKING METERS and lose the stage AND THE WHOLE FUCKING TOUR.
I like Esteban Chaves and hats off showing such extreme class to cross the line with muted celebration, but OMFG Wout!! SO CLOSE in the Tour of Britain and now this??
Next year is Wout's year, I'm calling it.
And next year he will find love. #Woutontinder
It looks like Belgian Ted's got a cool mullet in this photo. Sad to see you go before live coverage starts Ted!
Giraffes in cycling situations!!
Ok so broadcasting started at the same time for both races. An enormous break in Paris-Tours with 7 and a half minutes, and a good-looking (and equally enormous) chase behind with 43k to go.
Up front: Heinrich Hausslar, Captain Curvers, Matteo, Tiesj, Greg VanAv, Ginger Pim, Arnaud Demare, among others. And also the rest of OPQS that isn't in the chase group.
On the chase: Niki!!, Julian Vermotte, Miki Schar, and the pleasing assonance of Marco Marcato (among others)
70k of the circuit over in Abu Dhabi with a few people out front and a duo of chasers. A couple of minutes for each.
Julian Vermotte just went way wide on that turn into someone's forecourt.
Hmmm a Giant has gone off the front of the chase group.
It's kind of a weird one out there in Abu Dhabi. Have there been any fans? It's kind of eerie.
There's Esteban in Wout's red jersey.
Just kidding. Kind of.
Niki is the patron of this chase. He is in control.
Onto the first of three climbs.
(Hey Peter!! Over in Abu Dhabi)
Some dude's gone off the front of the front now.
These guys can't wait to get to their holidays. They are FLYING along.
Front group is going mental at each other but for now it's the TA team making attacks so nothing's sticking.
(Hi Leo!!!! in Abu Dhabi)
OPQS are taking on a lot of this work, in all the groups, sooooo... I'm nervous.
This Abu Dhabi thing is just weirding me out so much. It's like a space race. Like they're on a space station and there are no humans and for some reason they're being made to ride around and around.
Come ride around our empty stadium at night. I mean that's what the invite must've said.
The two Frenchies out there are getting caught at 10k.
I'd like if Heinrich won. He's had a bit of a rough one this season.
I mean that's assuming Niki can't come back from that chase group at 2 minutes.
Whoooooo losing some men here on the climb.
MATTEO bossing on the front trying to split it.
Greg Van Av stays with him, and some other people.
Awww Heinrich on the back of the second group.
Trentin is a killer man. He just made Greg sprint out of that corner!
Now Greg goes!
They lost one guy, so now it's Matteo and Greg and Tosh Van der Sande out front alone.
GO MATTEO.
6.5k.
What's Captain Curvers doing? Was he trying to go solo?
They've got 24 seconds up there.
This chase group is depressing.
It's now or never and I think to be honest, it's never.
2.5k and they have nearly 30 seconds up there.
I mean they're kinda shooting around back there but nothing's working.
1.5k, COME ON MATTEO!!
Goujons is going for Best Placed Frenchman back there.
OH MY GOD CLASSIC GREG, does he have a mechanical!?
What is going on??
He seems to be having a Sep-style wheel breakdown but is still riding along.
Matteo is leading but they're slowing.
THIS IS SO TENSE
They're just slow slow slow.
MATTEO IS LIKE FUCK THIS I'M GOING
Greg can't go, like physically can't go. Fucking hell the unluck.
GO ON MATTEO!!!!!
COME ON!!!
HE JUST TOTALLY HAD THAT.
It was like weirdly no contest in the end.
YOU GO MATTEO.
I win 5 times in France on 7 professional wins. I always win in France actually!
Omg and then they made him speak French. Awwwww so cute! So pleased!
Oh my good lord come on. The heart can only take so much!!
Peter and Marcel are chatting side by side in Abu Dhabi.
Ok 25ks to go over here in The Space Race.
Oh interesting, the on-boards are live this time, that's what everyone was going on about this morning.
Pretty cool. The quality is a bit flou, but you can pinpoint Peter and Daniel Oss and Marcel anywhere.
Eliaaaaaaaa!
Marcel Kittel Cam really, these on-board cameras.
Just two up front now, including Gianluca Brambilla.
Sometimes Brian Smith throws MASSIVE shade on other teams.
Like I do know teams sometimes screw their riders over towards the end of the season when it's announced they're going somewhere else, but that's not what happened with Marcel Kittel this year is it.
Give it a rest Bri.
Luka Mezgec was doing some strategery with Marcel there. High level tactics and hand signals.
Break caught at 15.5k.
Counter attacks go. In the style of the French TAs, nothing too threatening.
Team Wiggins towards the back. Also in the style...
Okaaaaaay, all the feeds go out at 12k?????
Ok. 10k to go.
Omg Harley is there!! Christ not even being supported by his own manager. Poor Gossy. He just cannot catch a break.
He's going to One Pro next year?? Huh. See you at the Nocturne Harley!
Andy Fenn hanging around at the front.
A possible late launch of Marcus Burghardt!?!! YES PLEASE!
Oh here are some humans. Ok, like 12 people came out to see this race.
All together at the bell lap.
They are striiiiiiiinging this out.
I like Marcel Kittel but are the other 3 cameras not working?
3k to go.
So congrats Esteban Chaves. Sad face for Wout.
Wyss KILLING this on the front.
Sky now massively on this.
1.6k.
Andy, Swifty, Elia
Flamme Rouge
Peter is way at the back.
Oh no, that camera was misleading.
Swifty on the front!!!
TAKE US THERE SWIFTY
HE IS GRITTING HIS TEETH
He's off, Elia is freestyling now
Third position behind Oss
He's coming from behind Oss
DO IT
DO IT
PETER WHERE THE FUCK
OH MY FUCKING
THAT WAS MAD
Peter came from like nowhere and I thought was going to take it from Elia on the line!
YOU GO ELIA!!!!!
I mean this race is super fucking weird but WHO CARES ELIA WON HALF OF IT SO I LOVE IT.
Awwww Ben hugs Elia.
Tom Dumoulin gives him a little pat on the back.
Well that was excellent.
Sunday 11 October 2015
Sunday 4 October 2015
Swimming with Sharks
Il Lombardia:
Cycle Sport are having a lovely, if confusing, time out there.
It's not that I don't appreciate the little free pirated links I use, but it'd be good if the advertised start times were moderately adhered to. Then maybe I wouldn't have to start every race annoyed after a fight with the internet.
And it's like I kind of care about Eurometropole, but do I really?
I mean it's literally everywhere now. Even on channels that weren't even on before. It's like a Eurometropole virus has taken over my computer.
And... Women's volleyball? The hell is going on.
At least nothing is going on in the race, according to Twitter.
Ohhh what??! I WANNA SEE.
Ok this looks like some sort of highlights/wrap up on the women's volleyball.
Orrrrrrr... just a massive slo-mo segment in the middle of a match. FFS.
AND BELGIAN TED IS ATTACKING. COME ON.
I'm starting to hate Eurometropole.
Several riders have gone off the front in the Gisallo, they are Tom Jelte Slagter (Cannondale-Garmin), Michal Kwiatkowski, Zdenek Stybar, Metteo Trentin, Carlos Verona, Lukasz Wisniowski (Etixx-QuickStep), Tim Wellens (Lotto Soudal), Jon Izaguirre (Movistar), Robert Gesink, Timo Roosen (Lotto NL-Jumbo), Nizzolo (Trek Factory Racing)
Cyclingnews have helpfully pointed out that Kwiato is in his new (old) colours. Look how cool he is.
Ahahahahaha, COFIDIS. COFIDIS won that Eurometropole stage. SWITCH OVER.
Are we honestly going to interview every participant in Eurometropole before we CHANGE COVERAGE!?!
Don't lie to me BMC.
Fucking hell merciful god.
I feel like the entirety of Eurometropole was broadcast and like the last 10 minutes of Lombardia is. What is going on in the world?
Anyway, I'll get over it. 54k to go.
Magnus Backstedt has a rather English accent doesn't he?
So there's some dudes out front but we're more concerned with the chasers, who include: Michal, Geshke's Beard, TJ Butcher, and Belgian Ted among others.
Mother of christ this is what they're climbing at the moment.
Meh Geschke's Beard has been dropped and is back in the peloton.
Oh hello Dan, where are you?
ALLO MICHAL YOU LOOK IMPERIAL.
Not sure where we are, just watching people come up the climb I guess.
A Yates
HEY LEO
DAN!
PHIL
Belgian Ted and Michal at the head of the race together?
Belgian Ted slipped through a very tight spot between the motorbike and Michal, not sure if Michal's subsequent hand gesture was to indicate "chill, dude".
There's some grassy knoll style graphics going on but not sure what they're trying to highlight.
They suspect Michal wants a lead bike to indicate where the eff he's going on this foggy descent.
SAFETY FIRST MICHAL.
Astana have been chasing this whole time btw.
UGH What is THAT descent!! Belgian Ted could've easily pitched over that bridge!
Michal and Belgian Ted have 28 seconds.
40k to go
(G's wedding looked amaze, on another note)
Phillllllllll! Very quite hard climbs Phil says.
Ahahaha, he had a bit to say about people chasing WT points. Then you understand the next day when you see the papers. I LOVE PHIL AND HIS KIND FACE.
Why does Matt Stephens give a shit about resting your arms in the middle of your handlebars? He's always going on about it.
Haven't had much of an update but Michal and Belgian Ted seem to have about 36 seconds on a chasing group of about 20 riders.
Phil seems to be chasing the chase group solo.
HEY PHIL
When did he do that epic solo chase earlier this year? DO IT AGAIN PHIL.
28.5k to go.
Ah Phil's got some company. Rui Costa at least, and 2 others maybe.
Alessandro Volta, the man who gave his name to the word 'Volt' was born in Como, where we finish today.
The chase group includes TJ Butcher, WEE PETE KENNAUGH (they think), Simon Yates, George Bennett, Thibault Pinot, and other less interesting people like all of Astana and Valv.Piti.
Michal and Belgian Ted are onto the penultimate climb.
Aww TJ Butcher getting left behind.
Michal alone??!
Oh christ not for long.
Astana is pegging him back.
Awww DAMMIT Michal seems to indicate.
Meh. Back in the group he goes.
Ugh stop mentioning people I don't want to win in this group.
Nibali and Chaves peeling off the front
Moreno (sadly not Moser) brings Thibault Pinot and Valv.Piti across.
Some Skys hitch back on.
Sergio Henao going to the front?
Wout is dropped from this group. #Woutontinder
The Shark of Messina has another go at the front
There's like six dudes up here.
Chaves follows Nibali, Dani Moreno, Valv.Piti, Thibault Pinot, Nieve I think, another Astana
Pinot goes!
Nieve follows!
and an Astana follows.
Brambilla dropped from the front group.
Nieve sort of went again
Diego Rosa goes and Pinot chases
SHARK ATTACK!!
Pinot looks to see no one else is going to do the chase and GOES
Back together, six at the front: Nibali, Rosa, Chaves, Moreno, Pinot and Valv.Piti
Nieve is latching back on the back
They're over the top now and Nibali attacks again
Fucking hell he's getting away
He is taking insane risks on the descent
UGH these wheel screeches are terrible.
WOAH ok suddenly we're not at 16k but 12k.
Still a final climb to go
It's not that I don't like Nibali or don't want him to win, but...
I mean there are loads of better people aren't there?
WOAH the motorbike nearly wedged him into a wall. Fucking hell.
They're saying he has 25 seconds now.
Also someone is screwing up the descent lines for everyone but I missed who.
10k to go, onto the flat-ish now
The six behind are kinda all over the place. No one particularly wants to pull.
Oooh some further chasers now
Votre Copain Tony Gallopin is there, Brambilla is also back.
Magnus Backstedt is suggesting they threaten these remaining Astanas.
40 seconds for The Shark.
Pinot goes!
He got away but Moreno is dragging everyone back.
Cheers Moreno, bringing Valv.Piti and an Astana. You're a legend.
Moreno looks like he's gone away now
Pinot on his wheel
6.5k to go
Those two have got some air
Pinot sort of getting distanced
How much has he got left? What is the gap?
17 seconds, Moreno is coming for the Shark.
The group is 32 seconds behind
Ugh, Nibali is onto the descent.
Moreno is too now
5k
I mean they're close! Moreno at 14 seconds, Pinot at 24.
CATCH HIM.
3k.
11 seconds behind for Moreno, 22 for Pinot, 33 for whoever is back there chasing.
Well.
The GPS went insane and suddenly we're actually just at the finish.
So it's the Shark.
It's not as good as Dan winning is it?
Best placed Frenchman, and a podium at that! GO THIBAULT.
TJ Butcher came 13th.
I guess at least Valv.Piti didn't win.
Cycle Sport are having a lovely, if confusing, time out there.
It's not that I don't appreciate the little free pirated links I use, but it'd be good if the advertised start times were moderately adhered to. Then maybe I wouldn't have to start every race annoyed after a fight with the internet.
And it's like I kind of care about Eurometropole, but do I really?
I mean it's literally everywhere now. Even on channels that weren't even on before. It's like a Eurometropole virus has taken over my computer.
And... Women's volleyball? The hell is going on.
At least nothing is going on in the race, according to Twitter.
Ohhh what??! I WANNA SEE.
Ok this looks like some sort of highlights/wrap up on the women's volleyball.
Orrrrrrr... just a massive slo-mo segment in the middle of a match. FFS.
AND BELGIAN TED IS ATTACKING. COME ON.
I'm starting to hate Eurometropole.
Several riders have gone off the front in the Gisallo, they are Tom Jelte Slagter (Cannondale-Garmin), Michal Kwiatkowski, Zdenek Stybar, Metteo Trentin, Carlos Verona, Lukasz Wisniowski (Etixx-QuickStep), Tim Wellens (Lotto Soudal), Jon Izaguirre (Movistar), Robert Gesink, Timo Roosen (Lotto NL-Jumbo), Nizzolo (Trek Factory Racing)
Cyclingnews have helpfully pointed out that Kwiato is in his new (old) colours. Look how cool he is.
Ahahahahaha, COFIDIS. COFIDIS won that Eurometropole stage. SWITCH OVER.
Are we honestly going to interview every participant in Eurometropole before we CHANGE COVERAGE!?!
Don't lie to me BMC.
Fucking hell merciful god.
I feel like the entirety of Eurometropole was broadcast and like the last 10 minutes of Lombardia is. What is going on in the world?
Anyway, I'll get over it. 54k to go.
Magnus Backstedt has a rather English accent doesn't he?
So there's some dudes out front but we're more concerned with the chasers, who include: Michal, Geshke's Beard, TJ Butcher, and Belgian Ted among others.
Mother of christ this is what they're climbing at the moment.
Meh Geschke's Beard has been dropped and is back in the peloton.
Oh hello Dan, where are you?
ALLO MICHAL YOU LOOK IMPERIAL.
Not sure where we are, just watching people come up the climb I guess.
A Yates
HEY LEO
DAN!
PHIL
Belgian Ted and Michal at the head of the race together?
Belgian Ted slipped through a very tight spot between the motorbike and Michal, not sure if Michal's subsequent hand gesture was to indicate "chill, dude".
There's some grassy knoll style graphics going on but not sure what they're trying to highlight.
They suspect Michal wants a lead bike to indicate where the eff he's going on this foggy descent.
SAFETY FIRST MICHAL.
Astana have been chasing this whole time btw.
UGH What is THAT descent!! Belgian Ted could've easily pitched over that bridge!
Michal and Belgian Ted have 28 seconds.
40k to go
(G's wedding looked amaze, on another note)
Phillllllllll! Very quite hard climbs Phil says.
Ahahaha, he had a bit to say about people chasing WT points. Then you understand the next day when you see the papers. I LOVE PHIL AND HIS KIND FACE.
Why does Matt Stephens give a shit about resting your arms in the middle of your handlebars? He's always going on about it.
Haven't had much of an update but Michal and Belgian Ted seem to have about 36 seconds on a chasing group of about 20 riders.
Phil seems to be chasing the chase group solo.
HEY PHIL
When did he do that epic solo chase earlier this year? DO IT AGAIN PHIL.
28.5k to go.
Ah Phil's got some company. Rui Costa at least, and 2 others maybe.
Alessandro Volta, the man who gave his name to the word 'Volt' was born in Como, where we finish today.
The chase group includes TJ Butcher, WEE PETE KENNAUGH (they think), Simon Yates, George Bennett, Thibault Pinot, and other less interesting people like all of Astana and Valv.Piti.
Michal and Belgian Ted are onto the penultimate climb.
Aww TJ Butcher getting left behind.
Michal alone??!
Oh christ not for long.
Astana is pegging him back.
Awww DAMMIT Michal seems to indicate.
Meh. Back in the group he goes.
Ugh stop mentioning people I don't want to win in this group.
Nibali and Chaves peeling off the front
Moreno (sadly not Moser) brings Thibault Pinot and Valv.Piti across.
Some Skys hitch back on.
Sergio Henao going to the front?
Wout is dropped from this group. #Woutontinder
The Shark of Messina has another go at the front
There's like six dudes up here.
Chaves follows Nibali, Dani Moreno, Valv.Piti, Thibault Pinot, Nieve I think, another Astana
Pinot goes!
Nieve follows!
and an Astana follows.
Brambilla dropped from the front group.
Nieve sort of went again
Diego Rosa goes and Pinot chases
SHARK ATTACK!!
Pinot looks to see no one else is going to do the chase and GOES
Back together, six at the front: Nibali, Rosa, Chaves, Moreno, Pinot and Valv.Piti
Nieve is latching back on the back
They're over the top now and Nibali attacks again
Fucking hell he's getting away
He is taking insane risks on the descent
UGH these wheel screeches are terrible.
WOAH ok suddenly we're not at 16k but 12k.
Still a final climb to go
It's not that I don't like Nibali or don't want him to win, but...
I mean there are loads of better people aren't there?
WOAH the motorbike nearly wedged him into a wall. Fucking hell.
They're saying he has 25 seconds now.
Also someone is screwing up the descent lines for everyone but I missed who.
10k to go, onto the flat-ish now
The six behind are kinda all over the place. No one particularly wants to pull.
Oooh some further chasers now
Votre Copain Tony Gallopin is there, Brambilla is also back.
Magnus Backstedt is suggesting they threaten these remaining Astanas.
40 seconds for The Shark.
Pinot goes!
He got away but Moreno is dragging everyone back.
Cheers Moreno, bringing Valv.Piti and an Astana. You're a legend.
Moreno looks like he's gone away now
Pinot on his wheel
6.5k to go
Those two have got some air
Pinot sort of getting distanced
How much has he got left? What is the gap?
17 seconds, Moreno is coming for the Shark.
The group is 32 seconds behind
Ugh, Nibali is onto the descent.
Moreno is too now
5k
I mean they're close! Moreno at 14 seconds, Pinot at 24.
CATCH HIM.
3k.
11 seconds behind for Moreno, 22 for Pinot, 33 for whoever is back there chasing.
Well.
The GPS went insane and suddenly we're actually just at the finish.
So it's the Shark.
It's not as good as Dan winning is it?
Best placed Frenchman, and a podium at that! GO THIBAULT.
TJ Butcher came 13th.
I guess at least Valv.Piti didn't win.
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