One Niki is Enough

Dwars door Vlaanderen

Today kicks off a three week period of racing that will take in E3 Harelbeke, Gent-Wevelgem, the Tour of Flanders and Paris-Roubaix.  Greater words were never spoken.

Much like The Walloon Arrow, this one is best left in the native language.

Inexplicably Catalunya isn't being livetweeted by cyclingnews. Which is I guess ok as Luka Mezgec is the only one winning currently.

And anyway it sounds horrible over there.

So thank god we are here on the cobbles, with former winners Cokey Tom and Niki to keep us company.

Unfortunately Taylor's not yet with us. Rest and recuperate Taylor! Text and watch tv and we'll see you in Roubaix!

The equally hair-tastic Daniel Oss is here for BMC though.

A bit of entertainment while we await some action:

OhMyGod. My heart can only take so much.

What the eff? I'm more confused than ever.

It's been a poor start to the season for British team it has to be said. Chris Froome had a back injury, Richie Porte has pulled out of the last two races and Bradley Wiggins has looked short of form as well. Stannard, Thomas and Swift have flown the flag but the Henao news and the Locke blood passport case have hung over the team in recent weeks.  Yeah, weird times. Can't all be fun and frolicks I suppose.

Also I think it's a bit lame to equate Froomey's back injury (from which he will return and dominate the Tour de France) with Wiggo's generally just being a bit shit.

BOOM TOWN: Less than 25km into the action and it's a former Sky rider who has jumped clear of the peloton. Alex Dowsett, now riding for Movistar, into his second year with the squad, is alone and leading the race.

Enough with the Sky bashing, but THE KID CAN'T HELP HIMSELF!

The Movistars were hangin' at Arenberg yesterday so they'll know their way around.

Dowsett was clear for just a few moments as the peloton have gobbled him back up.

Oh.

It's ok Alex! Nature was clearly against you! Tailwind: And with no assistance it's no wonder Dowsett was caught/sat up. 

There's another Klemme??  What a standout family!

Having missed out on a place in Milan -San Remo Matt Goss is here for Orica.  I legitimately thought that said 'having missed his plane'... CAN'T HARLEY CATCH A BREAK?!!?

Superstar breakaways today. Now it's Dave Millar!!!!

Oh, apparently he's bridging to some other people in front. Still. HE'LL GET THERE AND HE'LL PASS THEM.

Because everyone loves Dave Millar, the breakaway group now has over 20 riders.

They have 1'15 advantage. Only Movistar (Alex), Orica (Harley), and one other inconsequential wildcard team are not represented in the break.

OPQS you read my mind!

Looks a bit bleak out there. Everyone's got their cold-weather blacks on.

Gap's now up to 2'20.

We're at the base of the first climb and the gap is up to 3 minutes. Meanwhile, Fab is clearly not racing.

On the descent now, 22 man group with 2'30 lead with another 100-ish Ks to go. And most of the mountains.

Defending champ GATTO is here; though apparently no one has ever won Across Flanders twice in a row.

Cannondale teammate TED is also here; we haven't heard anything from him yet.

Though it was deeply unclear what Obama had to do with anything yesterday, he's made an appearance at the startline today.

Not much else going on at the minute apparently...

Still going over some mountains and maintaining the exact same time gap, I suppose.

Did Stijn Devolder have a solo crash? There was some curious reporting and he seems the only one chasing back on.

And trying to change his shoes.

I don't know why he's capitalizing like he's foreign, but Hendy will be back with us soon! Do not despair!

And if you are despairing, he's been active on twitter this morning posting adorable pictures of his daughter. Impossible to despair.

But living in the Pit of Despair is Matty Harley and Co, currently leading the chase to the party they didn't get invited to-- err, the breakaway group they're not represented in.

There's a lot of 'passengers' in this break and various Vans and Vons are trying to force the split and take the strongmen with them.

The current Von at the head of the group is Jos van Emden, a Belkin man. Belkin men are hard men.

Omega are moving up to the front of the peloton to hang with TheGreenEdge.

MASSIVE ATTACK by Cokey Tom at the base of the next climb.

But it doesn't really go anywhere.

The break is splitting, the peloton is splitting, people are all over the road.

Niki and Stannard are driving at the front. 10 seconds from catching the last remnants of the break.

It's kickin' off, lads!

Get out your biggest guns: And it's Terpstra leading the peloton with Stannard on his wheel. The race could all come back together on this climb. Chavanel is up there too.

Terpstra has forged clear and he's alone now. He went right over the lead group and left them for dead. He's alone now ahead of the race with 27km to go.

NIKIIIIIII!!!!!!!

GRRRRR!

He's got 11 seconds and 25k, but COME ON NIKI!

OPQS says he has 21 seconds now!

One Terpstra, three Treks but the lead continues to grow. OH. MY. GOD.

25 seconds!

33!

Cokey Tom is apparently 'slowing things down' in the bunch too. Leaving coke in his wake to cause a distraction?

Hayman is moving up to the front to see what the problem is and why the chase has slowed.  Because THIS MAN is in charge!

Stijn has got his shoes back on is apparently on the attack!

He's got a Tinkoff, a mystery random, and a mystery OPQS with him.

Valverde has joined them as well.

Gert! It's Gert in the chase group! THE ULTIMATE TEAM.

Devolder is giving it a mighty good go here. He's got Niki back to 15 seconds.

Terpstra looks to be suffering but the Devolder group can't move the gap below 15 seconds.  

In fact the gap has gone up. HE IS THAT MUCH OF A LEGEND.

It's Garmin who are chasing at the head of the peloton. Oh, why? Is the loveliest man in cycling and in fact the known world about to get the yellow jersey???

10k. 18 seconds.

Two other former winners Nick Nuyens and Cokey Tom have gone off the front!

But have sat up.

The peloton are catching the chasers but the chasers aren't catching NIKI!!!

What??  Whatever, YES!!!

NOT LONG NOW NIKI!!!!!!!

!!!!  GOGOGOSISISI!

NIKI IS THE WINNER!!!!!

THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH EXCLAMATION POINTS IN THE WORLD FOR THIS!!!

I love this.

LOVE IT.

What's wrong with Alex's balls?

Don't be too hard on yourself Alex. In the early season, no one can match these guys.

Retweeted by Brian Holm: FUCK YES.