Chaos Theory

Paris-Nice: Stage 7
Tirreno Adriatico: Stage 4

A breakaway is out on the roads. Never likely to stick but it has allowed Ginger Pim to capture enough Mountain points to be resplendent in polka dots tomorrow.

Brice Feillu was virtual leader on the road and was causing some discomfort for the breakaway. He's now dropped back and the breakaway have stretched their gap back out. Hardly the kamikaze tactics of big bro Romain.

The final 2km of the stage is uphill and we could see a similar finish to yesterday. Does Betancur have the legs to do it again? Or perhaps Rui Costa might go one better and take that first victory in the world champion's jersey.  Orrrrr, a less boring result: get Taylor out of the StruggleBus and into the finishing straight!

Tirenno's getting going:

Anton is there as well, Dowsett too and Malori. They've really got a strong team with a huge level of depth. Can Quintana pay them back with a winning performance? Ah yes, the witch doctor. Can't lovely Alex just be the team star? Maybe he's too tired.

Richie thinks today is the most important day for GC riders, despite tomorrow's big-ass wall.

Movistar are DRILLING on the front. The gap is down to 59 seconds.

Oh Lloyd!  Mondory was pitching around corners like a madman and skidded HARD into a ditch!

He's up again but back with the bunch.

Back in Paris-Nice, Lil Tom is hanging at the front with the Europcar chaps. Could be a day for some fireworks, as always with this man.

Europcar are doing a lot of work on the front again today. They've cut the gap to the escapees down to 1:50. Watch the fuck out.

Thor Hushovd goes off the front with a couple of other riders in an attempt to jump over to the breakaway group. The gap is now down to 50 seconds. Ohhh, BMC fireworks! Unlikely.

Yep. So unlikely it didn't last.


Two leaders about to be caught in Tirreno.

Beardy Brad is auditioning for the role of supportive teammate now.

Wow. Some cutting commentary: "That's one thing Bradley CAN do-- even if he's not climbing particularly well-- he can set a tempo." Geez don't oversell it.

They then went on for nearly 10 minutes talking tactics before realising "I suppose he could actually be here for himself, too!" Oh how are the mighty fallen.

Movistar are quite clever tactically actually. They've played an interesting game today. Though, maybe like when they went up against Froomey, it won't really come to anything.

Roman Kreuziger is the virtual leader on the road.

And no one seems to be doing much about it.

Oh BOOM jsut when you thought it was over, RICHIE IS ON THE MOVE.

The weirdest fucking tactics going on here. Saxo Tinkoff are behaving very strangely.

People are all over the road.  I can't tell who's bridging, who's in the break, who's being left behind...

Ugh, this kind of blows. A chasing group of four behind Kreuzinger, none of whom you'd want to win... Where's Richie?

Oh here he is! But now they're endlessly lamenting poor Kwiatkowski losing the leader's jersey! I CAN'T DEAL.

Oh my god Richie is TOO AWESOME. He's looking back at those Saxo Tinkoffs and gritting his teeth and is like FUCK OFF MY WHEEL.

Kwiatkowski has bridged and is trying to hang on! WHAT A CHAMPION.

He is just on the edge of being dropped and distanced but is being SO VALIANT.

RICHIE HAS GAPPED Contador and Quintana!! GO ON RICHIE!!

Ugh bummer. Gap closed.

Ok, seriously. What is with these results. Some of the most edge-of-your-seat racing EVER and Pistolero gets the win??? Meh.

Meanwhile, loads of shit was going down at Paris-Nice and a lot of it seemed to involve Wee Sylvain. Lots of breaks went, and were caught. Then more people shot off the front, and were caught. It wasn't totally clear who was where at any point. But now the group is back together.

OH NO G!!!!  There's been a crash and G is down!

He's moving a bit now but isn't getting up. This is too much for my heart to handle.

Well we've just left him there on the side of the road so hopefully an update will come through.

Wee Jakob is off the front!

But caught.

Same for Dries Devenyns.

No one's going anywhere today.

Everyone is all over the road, including the excellently named Tom-Jelte Slagter. Great sounds anyway, but also 'slagter' means 'butcher' in Danish. Go on TJ Butcher!

I mean I don't want him to win (AGAIN), but Betancur is certainly always up there in the mix.

AND TJ BUTCHER TAKES IT!

Oh my god he's so cute. A little halfhearted punch in the air for the camera after spinning around in a circle after the finish.

Weird finishing images, everyone's sort of ambling around a deserted road in the middle of nowhere.

And Rui Costa weeping in a bush.

Oh my god, Slagter is literally the cutest. Obviously yesterday he lost everything GC-wise, but with the win: "Today everything is ok again."

G looking quite battered and bruised but up on his bike, is now crossing the finish line. Nothing seems broken but he looks pretty roughed up and depressed. Really sad turn of events for G.

John Degenkolb looks like he rides in another time period. It's not just the moustache, I think it's also his sunglasses or something. It's like he's a ghost from the past riding in the current peloton. I think that's fantastic.

Awwwww, touching moments between G and Rui Costa.

Today's theme: 
#hardasamotherf#*cker, as Adam Blythe once said.