Tea for Two

Tour of Britain Stage 3, Cockermouth - Floors Castle:

Cockermouth?? England, you've outdone yourself. Moving on.

I mean they could legitimately charge admissions to this.

I'm obsessed.

I always knew I liked Rob Partridge. Now it all makes sense. Seriously though, that's mental. They have the EXACT same hair!

....Nathan is in London?

Yum, inside the feedzone feedbags with Sky on Periscope.

Wee Pete's feed fine has provided a variety of surname pronunciations: Ken-yuk, Kenya, Rod just said Kenna which makes the most sense to me.

Rob Hayles often looks so bored during these broadcasts.

Maybe he's just super chilled.

Looks like Johnny went his own way and chose the black socks.

Russ Downing and Tyler Farrar are also with Johnny in the break, with some others. There are six in total.

They've got six minutes but Etixx isn't happy because Johnny is only a minute and a half behind on GC.

Climbing now, 85k to go

Reinhardt Janse Van Rensberg riding by there with his wounds. GO RJVR!

A breakaway from the breakaway

Bit fractured, 4 with 2 close behind

Tyler's making an attack now

Is this just about mountain points?

They seem to be regrouping now on the descent.

Cav having a word at the front here

Styby is weighing in too

They're really going for it now.

Oh Alex! Also, four kilos?? I thought he was looking slimline.

Sky to the front now, ruh roh.

Gap down to 4'38''

Wee Pete riding next to Cav

Lotto Soudal also getting involved

Stefan Kung bringing everyone drinks here

Sefan Koing (like 'boing', like a cartoon 'boing' sound)

I think Do-moo-lawn has really sent me over the edge, but this is really getting stupid.

That man hanging at the back, Bradley Wiggins... They could just replay this tape at every race ever.

Frisson (excellent name) of Lotto Soudal leading the chase, gap down to 3'22''

Break is onto the next climb

Lots of activity here at the back, Sky wants some service URGENTLY

Ummmm Ty, I'm just getting a look at that hair. No.

Johnny is such a marked man.

Swifty havin' a laugh with Ian as they share drinks

The breakaway is killing and bringing the gap back out

Tyler is going for the mountain points again

He's going solo now.

Well, trying. That One Pro has joined him.

And the Madison Genesis.

They are downing gels and cokes and going for it like beasts

I think Tyler just signalled 'rock on' to the team car.

We have no news on where Johnny and the other two are but I guess we have to assume they're lost.

Gap is going out crazy

Nearly 4 minutes now

TAYLOR

Helllooooo, hello? The Tinkoff says to his team as he taps on the window to put his rainwear away.

Awww Johnny, coming back.

Russ Downing is chasing solo in no man's land.

Garmindale putting in some representation at the front here

30k to go.

The constraints in this race are interesting. Obviously the six-man teams (or three-man, if you're Lotto Jumbo), but also only one team car in the race. EBH just punctured but the car is with Tyler in the break, so he has to take neutral service.

More Garmindales on the front now. Bigtime.

They're onto the climb now

Hank looks like he's coming up the side with Taylor on his wheel. Exciting.

Silly me thinking there would be a woman DS. Clearly Brian has been saying 'Michel' not 'Michelle'.

Bibby hanging round the front as we near the summit

BIBBY CHASING THAT GUY

GO BIBS DID YOU GET IT?

He looks sort of pleased...

Ohhh they're playing that Lexus commercial with that tune again!

Ok we're back, Lotto almost in its entirety, a few Garmindales and Ian Stannard on the front

We're inside the no feed zone now. Got that Pete?

15.5k, 1 minute 45 seconds for Tyler and Co.

Stannard on the front now. Say goodbye to that gap guys.

He let Garmindale do a bit but now he's back, just hovering over a minute

They are DRAGGING this group

10k, 49 seconds

Stannard is such an MVP

Whoa just reassessed that GPS and the gap is 37 seconds now

8k

Right it's not 'three against three', one of the chasing three is Ian Standard. It's like three against 25.

6k, 20 seconds

Oh man they're right there. These roads are so cruel.

Tinkoff joining in the fun now too

A crash towards the back?

Some GBs and One Pros and apparently Petr Vakoc?

Oh man he's sitting up against the wall and getting his wrist looked at.

Gruppo Compatto

Pete Kennaugh taking to the front

2.4k to go

Alex is up at the front too

Lotto Soudal coming up, Tinkoff there

Onto those cobbles

Flamme Rouge and it's Lotto everywhere with some Skys in the mix

Elia is on Lotto's wheels

Cav possibly on Elia's wheel

Trentin maybe it was

IAM someone going for it

Elia pulls ahead!!!!

ELIA ELIA ELIA

ELIA WINSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

Alex coming in with an NFTO (also Brad Wiggins was there)

Pissing in the Hedges, with Lotto-Soudal.

A documentary.

Where was Cav? He's only just come in. Maybe he was caught up in that crash.

Yeah let's see it again.

That was so good, Elia. He just keeps coming up.

How can you not want these cuties to win everything??

JJ Lobato into the yellow jersey (Proxy Alex); a BMC into third (Proxy Taylor)

Wout is fourth, DVB up to 5th.

Awww here comes Petr Vakoc with a teammie.

Does he have a little broken finger?

Aww he looks sweet this Lobato kid