Tour of Britain Stage 5, Prudhoe - Hartside Fell:
I need to have this dog.
This dog is the biggest hit of the Tour of Britain.
I don't need to be told to wave at Charly.
I think Johnny's got him beat actually.
Did not see that coming. Also, what?? Bernie and Brian and everyone all at MTN?? WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD.
Hartside Fell is a suitably dramatic name for a summit finish. Sounds like an epic medieval battle should take place there.
Alex you lovely man.
Awww he's enjoying his English breakfasts!
Amazing. They love Ian Bibby. He oozes class, says Rob. Obviously.
Taylor Phinney leading us out on the neutral start.
Ooooh looks like Cav was caught out in an early crash!
There's a break at the Vuelta with Koen de Kort, Nico and Adam. Britain's breakaway is less exciting.
OH FOR FUCKS-- I do not care about Connor Dunne's dual passports. WHY.
Alex on the front, even though he hoped not to be today.
Well I don't care about them but the break has 4 minutes.
Oh hey Swifty!
Sky mixing in with Movistar, Elia leads the peloton.
I mean England is beautiful. We're crossing some old bridge outside Lazonby. The weather has been deceptively wonderful as well.
I'm enjoying #mechanictakeover as much as I did #kennaughtakover.
Lunchtime!
Woooooooah, replaying that crash of Cav's. He was NOT pleased with that Movistar. He was up in his face bigtime. Then he has a massive long chat with the commissaire.
Well the cows have heard my shit talking and are now running alongside the race.
They're talking up Bibs here for the finish.
Hmmm. Brian wasn't FULL of praise: He shows brilliance one day, and then falls asleep on another day.
Please stop telling us about your sunflowers Huw.
50k to go. Gap down to just over 3 minutes.
RJVR has come to the front of the chase.
The giant himself, Ian Stannard.
Wowzers Le Crow. NICE ONE.
Gap under 3 minutes.
Ed Clancy's hanging at the back a lot. Like exclusively.
Jon Dibben at the back here. He seems fun.
Some breaking in the break.
Three have got away from the others. But... who cares kinda?
Let's catch these dudes huh.
32k to go. Andy Fenn back on the front.
Those two breakaways that got dropped have now been picked up by the peloton.
The resisters are still resisting with just over 2 minutes.
NFTO getting involved in the chase now.
Hank?
MASSIVE crowds in Penrith.
Garmin to the front as well.
Gap at a minute and a half.
Alright we're serious now, Stannard is at the front.
It sort of sounded like Brian said we've got this moron in the peloton. I think he was probably saying something about a motor, but that was hilarious. Not a fan of Stannard maybe.
Stefan and Taylor!!!
Where's his twin? Rob Phinney? Taylor Partridge?
(Also can we talk about that photo? HELLO #relationshipgoals)
Who cares about Brad shut up about Brad
12.9k as we come back from commercial, 26 seconds for the break.
Uh huh, Wiggins pulled the group in the commercial break. How convenient.
14 seconds
9
Jesus well that's that.
They're trying a final go. Well one of them isn't.
Still fighting for the combativity cheese.
But no longer.
Gruppo compatto at 9.7k
The climb is imminent.
DVB peeking out.
Taylor reallllll attentive near the front here.
ON THE CLIMB.
Sky lead the way
Taylor talking to someone
Aww JJ Lobato immediately dropped.
Taylor dancing
There was a tiny break from someone called Oliphant but quickly ended.
A Garmindale goes!
Ruben Zepuntke
Awww Danilo dropped
Swifty leading the chase behind
He's not massively massively ahead but there is a gap
It's going out a bit, 10 seconds now.
Aww bye Swifty.
Wee Pete is on the chase behind Ruben.
There are some others with him
A Movistar and Chris Anker.
Oh it's all a mess now
Strung out but not a break
Steven Kruiswijk has gone off the front and gotten away
Wee Pete leads the group behind
Though now coming off?? This helicopter is too far!
Exposed roads
Wout is going for the bridge!
DROP THAT BOTTLE
Wout has caught Steven
UGH Tao fell over!!!
EBH trying to bridge
WOUT IS GOING SOLO
He's like NUH UH EBH, laters!
2k to go
Ohhh they're gonna maybe get up to him
Booo. Those three together
Wout is going again!
He gets away but EBH pegs him
A Movistar has joined them
Wout is moving all around
Get away Wout, get away!!!
Ahhhh EBH went for it!
Meh somebody catch him!
Wout is trying!
He's kinda coming up on him but they guess he won't catch him
Sad face.
He's getting up there
THAT LINE ISN'T COMING FOR EBH
COME ON WOUT
COME ON WOUT
COME oN WOUT
SERIOUSLY
FUCKING DO THIS
OM GH
?!!!!!!!~
THAT WAS TOO FUCKING AMAZING!!!
OH MY GOD THAT WAS MAGIC
Is that Taylor or the ever-present Floris Gerts coming in for BMC?
Oh my god let it be 4 seconds lead, then Wout will lead by ONE SECOND.
Ugh. Boo. They say it's two seconds. So EBH gets the jersey.
Ok, dammit that's adorable. But I wanted Wout to have it all!
Nice one Stybar!! 4th on the stage.
Ah it was Dylan Teuns for BMC earlier.
The GC has had a bit of a shakeup there.
Big groups coming in minutes later.
Is this Taylor coming in 10 minutes down??
He doesn't have his knee tape but it looks like him and it's not Rob-Taylor Partridge-Phinney.
HI WOUT!
It's really nice to win then and see all the people there.
Everyone loves riding for Team Sky in the Tour of Britain. Elia said something so cute about it the other day.
Alex is a jack of all trades.
Awwwwww Steven!!! Another day! Stay strong #3menteam!
You and I were hoping Wiggo would have a bit of a nudge. Well then you're idiots.
Vuelta Stage 18, Roa -Riaza:
I'm in love.
Social media has really been excellent in the late season.
It sounds logic. #VamosTom
Huh.
Well joining on here are 32k, sounds like a bit of a Classic Vuelta moment here, with an uncategorised climb that is actually pretty effing difficult.
JOHNNY D is there?!!?
Breakaway starting to come apart.
Mercifully. Can we get off this life coaching from Gogo?? He's talking like an idiot.
Lotto (but not Adam) goes off the front with Cyril Gautier.
Gautier alone now
This is sometimes how I feel watching this race.
Gautier onto the climb
They're really doubting Astana's tactics here. Basically calling them stupid.
Uh oh.
Maybe it has to do with these incredible retro photos??
WOAH ARU GOING CRAZY
Just went on the attack, Tom follows and so does Purito
He's pulled away with about 8 guys, also Majka there
WOAH
ARU AND TOM ALONE
Majka pulls them back together
Tom is ON HIS ASS
Aru keeps swinging around and pushing and Tom is like a magnet
Valv.Piti attacking
Chaves trying a move
He gets away but no one sort of seems to care too much
Valverde goes after him
At the front of the race, IT'S NICO
3k to the summit with 1 minute advantage
Majka and Nieve joining Chaves and Valv.Piti
Nieve goes to the front
Everyone together again
Nieve goes again but doesn't stick
Picking up all these breakaways
Aru goes again!
Tom follows no problem
You can see how different they are in size.
Nieve pulling away again
Got some distance this time.
Nico still leads, about to be joined by Zubeldia.
They have 40 seconds on whoever is behind them, then Nieve, then the favourites
Valv.Piti goes again, followed by Majka. Aru trying to bridge with Tom right on him.
It's clear to me at this point that Aru should stop trying to attack Tom Dumoulin. Hilarious!!
Valverde going again. Snooze. Fucking hell.
Favourites together.
Nieve was brought back at some point.
Nico and Haimar at the summit!
It sounds like the crowd are shouting huevo huevo huevo!
Chaves pushes ahead for the descent.
I HOPE THE BREAK STAYS AWAY DON'T MAKE ME DREAM
Charly what are you trying to tell us?
Quintana made a short attack that went nowhere during the commercial break
Under 8k for Nico and Haimar.
5k.
I mean seriously.
4k.
TOM GOING SOLOOOOOOOOO
He went to the front but now everyone's together.
OMFG can we please get #woutontinder trending.
1.5k
There may be a time bonus going for the favourites group. Obviously can't count on the GPS here but... !!!!!
800m for Nico and Haimar
Virtually a straight run in!?!! HELP
OH MY GOD NICO PLEASE
Nico is leading which is interesting...
He keeps looking back
THIS IS MAD
I could vomit
My heart is going to explode!
GO NICO NICO
HE'S SO STRONG
NICO PLEASE
!!!!!!!!!!! NICOooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE WAS BRILLIANT!
Favourites come in together, no gaps.
NICO YOU CUTIE!!!!!
Let's see it again. He's so strong!!
Nicolas! shouts the announcer.
HE IS SO PLEASED! He's like WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! as he crosses the line!
Everyone is a winner. Today, and every day in this Vuelta.
Great guy, great winner. says Juan Antonio.
With this victory, we are happy at Team Sky. We've had to fight a lot within this race. Oh Mikel!! I hope the Vuelta team is now as happy as the Tour of Britain team!!
He's a super nice guy. I don't think anyone in the peloton has a bad word to say about him. We saw him with all the tvs around him and he was just smiling.
Giant has brought the DS A-Team. Christian Guiberteau telling us about the psychologique game played today. He and Addy Engels should go on tour.
NICOOOOOO!!! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I COULD CRY.
Is #Nicoontinder?
THE SUN SHINES ON NICO ROCHE.
Laura Meseguer is literally having to throw herself in front of cars to get these interviews.
With Haimar I was like let's go let's go let's go! Let's go all the way to the finish!
When I smiled it was cuz it actually worked!
For once I didn't mess up!
I looked to see if the shadow was coming up and I didn't want to put my hands up.
HE IS ADORABLE.
His manner of speaking is so unique and he has the most curious mix of accents.
THAT is not Tom Dumoulin.
I think I'm Vuelta Extra giddy now.
They said Tom Dumoulin and then flashed to Nairo Quintana and the visual joke was just too much.
Oh hey Dave B.
We're super happy. He's a very nice guy, very popular, very well liked.
[On Tom] He looks majestic. I think he's gonna win the race. He's a class rider.
I've never seen Dave B so happy. It's like he's been drinking. He's practically on Vuelta Extra right now.
And Wout won a stage in the Tour of Britain! He insists on telling Laura, like a proud papa.
Oh my god.
Tom waves and smiles like an adorable child. Goodbye everyone! See you tomorrow.
Is Adam planning some psychological torture?
On G perhaps?
Update: "I'll get you a copy also" is now my new favourite thing.
You said it Dan. Hearts.
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