Dege Dege Hey!

 Milan-Sanremo

Sooooo, Fabian Cancellara is a living legend. I feel like in a way, Tinkov was trying to give him a compliment; crafty ol' fox, say. But whatever the provocation, WHAT A RESPONSE. WHAT A MAN.

WHAT A CHAMPION. In L'Equipe this morning: "Sagan is a great rider. Stop saying that we're enemies and we can't stand one another! We're rivals-- that's different."

It sounds like the theme of the day will be #rain #rain, but that has already made for some excellent punning.

But yeah we'll see who's feelin' the jokes after 300k.

This update from cyclingnews feels like a beautiful short story; or maybe I'm just being swept away by the excitement of LA CLASSICISSIMA:
The escapees reach the summit of the Turchino with a lead of five minutes over the peloton. This is more or less the midway point of the race, but also a rather symbolic moment. In the popular imagination, at least, the Turchino marks the boundary between the frigid air of the northern Italian plain and the sunshine of the Riviera, the threshold between winter and spring. I'm not sure if they can appreciate that symbolism out on the road right now- the rain is still cascading out of a leaden sky as they begin the descent, with temperatures still in single digits.

Ok I was lukewarm towards Kristoff when he won last year, but he is SO CUTE in this pre-race interview! I'm not saying I want him to win again (Hello, Dege, Fab, Kwiato, Cav...) but you know, podium place? I'd be down for that.

BIKE RACING IS BEAUTIFUL:
The switch of Milan-San Remo from Saturday to Sunday has altered the experience of La Classicissima somewhat for those who live near the Turchino. An aquantaince of Cyclingnews from Campo Ligure often recalls with misty eyes how the Saturday morning passing of Milan-San Remo meant that he and his classmates were frog-marched out of school early to cheer on Argentin, Bugno et al. Let's hope the race carries the same appeal for the youth of today even if it no longer involves cutting class.

Is Cav sandbagging again? Hard to find evidence of this on the internet, but didn't he and Brian Holm treat 2009 like a Soviet spy mission? Like pulling out of races with fake illness in the run up and pretending to be bad in the mountains for like the whole early season?

Those rain capes of BMC are rather garish. Their kits are pretty subdued and classy and then they've got these BRIGHT ORANGE clashing jackets.

Julian Berard gives us a little wave as we race along. Chilleur.

Every time OPQS has safety in numbers I get such anxiety.

But what a freaking TEAM. Kwiato, Cav, Styby as possible winners. Plus workhorse and beast man Stijn VDB and Hair Idol Julian Vermote.

It's not THAT sunny here but yeah, samesies.

Martin Tjallingii riding along with a banana in his mouth there.

And Kwiato taking off the first of several layers.

Hokaaayyy, don't say Bernie Eisel is on camera when he is NOT ON CAMERA. That's like a mean girls style prank.

Tinkov-SassyBank all over the front. Sky joining them. Kwiato there.

OOF crash in this sort of tunnel thing.

They're all getting told 'move up move up'.

It's been so many years since we've seen the World Champion win Milan-Sanremo. DO IT KWIATO.

ALEXXXXX! HIIIIIIII! Alex is back!

Cannondale-Garmin, we haven't heard a lot from them this year. Uhhhh, are you in a social media blackout?

Sunshine at Via Roma it seems.

Fran's not a fan of HD Stijn VDB face then.

Ho-HO it's slo-mo SuperFenn now, surely can't have a problem with that?

omg seriously. I am a fortune teller.

Oh christ, Gossy was at the back there.

IT'S KICKIN OFF LADS.

Teeth are being gritted, people are being dropped.

WHAT THE ACTUAL-- DO THOSE PEOPLE HAVE FLAME THROWERS?!!

A 300k+ bike race in the rain isn't enough, now you have to dodge explosions from the peanut gallery?

Le Crow leading Sky around these lanes.

OH CRASH.

Fuck they're all just sitting against the wall.

NOT ALEX. He JUST came back!

Juul Jenson, fucking hell. Bleeding from the face.

Yeah that's not Le Crow's fault Brian Smith or whoever you are commentating. That's shady commentating suggesting that.

Three Sky's alone on the front,  literally a tiny breakaway: Le Crow, G, and Swifty. Weird. Interesting.

Yeah, it was planned to take the lead and have one of their guys crash, WHO IS THIS IDIOT??

The Skys are mopping up some breakaways. 2ks to the turn at Cipressa.

Onto the slopes of the Cipressa, but looks like the peloton are close behind.

Attack BMC. Dillier straight past the Sky group, G and Swifty latching on.

STYBY! Shot off the front like a cannon! Fuuuuuuckin' hell. He went up like it was flat and is already on the back of that Sky/Dillier group. Greg VanAv got up in there too at some point.

CRASH.

Arnaud Demare! Oh no! Le Crow gave him a little look as he went by. Aww.

Cripes Sky are setting an INFERNAL pace. Kristoff is hanging off the back.

G's got his earpiece out. I GOT THIS.

"The Playboy Italian"! Ha! Pippo's near the front, if that wasn't clear.

Where are these people coming from?? Every time you come back to the front it's some new person or team you didn't even think was in the group!

NATHAN HAAS ON THE FRONT NOW.

Pippo shouting at motorbikes to kindly make way.

Off the descent of the Cipressa, and ATTACK OSS.

HE IS SUCH A DUDE.

Where's G? They say he's out front too.

Ah there, he's with Oss now.

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO KWAITO??? He's coming up from the back, though looking fairly chill.

He's just coming up the side like NO CHAIN.

Ok I think he was maybe just taking his leg warmers off and maybe strategising at the back.

Some good quality SASS going on there Dan.

G looks like he might vom on himself.

They kind of have the same hair.

G and Oss, this is. They've got about 30 seconds.

I like this just generally as an image, for anytime of life. But yeah, def great news for the race right now.

Who've GreenEdge got?

A kilometre up the Poggio! AHH THE STRESS!!!

7 seconds for the Hair Blair Bunch.

LUCAAAAAAAA and his glorious beard are leading the peloton.

Time to be a hero once again!

AHH G HAS ATTACKED!

WAHOOOOO around the corner.

I don't think Luca Paolini can bring back Geraint Thomas.

Uh huh. This fuckin' guy.

HELL YEAH. PHILGIL FOLLOWED BY STYBY.

Oh. Came to nothing.

Greg VanAV has caught G!

POGGIO DI SANREMO you are a beautiful tv graphic!

Ahhhh it's all coming together on the descent.

Crash somewhere

Hairpin hairpin hairpin

PhilGil, Styby, Ciolek all down in that crash. DAMMIT.

Rolf Aldag out with his OPQSers commiserating.

Moves and moves and moves, people going forward and dropping back.

1500 meters to go!!

HERO LUCA bringing Kristoff to the front.

FLAMME ROUGE!!!!!!!

LUCA TURNS RIGHT AT THE FOUNTAIN

AHHH I'M RIDING SAM REMO WHAT IS THIS CAMERA WORK????!

JOHN DEGENKOLB JOHN DEGENKKOLB JOHNDGENKOLB

COME ON!!!!!!

JOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

JOHN DEGENKOLB IST MEIN HELD!!!!!

HE REALLY IS!!!!

Kristoff has just started to die. Only decent thing that asshat has said all day.

I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!