Aussie Rules

Paris Nice Stage 7: Nice-Col d'Eze ITT

Well might as well bookend this Paris-Nice, as I haven't managed to cover anything that happened since the Prologue.

Looks real gross out there today.

I like how these warm ups and warm downs are done in like weirdly exposed areas in the middle of the city going about its business.

In addition to Manual For Speed brilliantly describing the Prologue course as starting behind a grocery store and finishing down the road at a building.

Tony, unwillingly taking off his gilet at the last second before the start.

After his stellar performance at the last time trial, Bradley Wiggins has decided not to take the start today. What a champion.

Nice sur la pluit. Et dans le vent. Real talk.

Grossssssssssss.

On a vu des arrives de Paris-Nice beaucoup plus chaud.

Nice one Pitbull! Currently in the lead! Of course Tony the Tiger is out on course, so....

Yeahhhhh, Tony has caught his minute man.

Actually he's caught his THREE minute man, Simon Clarke!

I love this blatantly nationalistic coverage. They're asking Michael Matthews if they think Tony Gallopin can pull it off today. He countered with his own jingoistic prediction that Richie will come from behind and take it.

THE CUTEST from Julian Alaphillippe just now, about Kwiato: Bien sur je vais lui donner du conseil, mais il n'a pas besoin de mon conseil!

YAAASSS!

TONY. Killing it. New best time by 8 seconds.

Allllloooo.

Pour les courers, on peut pas dire que c'est des conditions ideal.

Ok, how does the UCI expect to be taken seriously when they are spending their time checking people's bikes for motors.

When did they stop calling him Rafael Valls Ferri? I preferred that.

!!!!! I don't know!!!!

God it seemed like PhilGil was out there for days!! His time seems to back this up as well.

G! Here we go!

Richieeeeeee!

Uhh did we not even get to see Michal go off!?? Not cool, France 3, not cool.

Oh. Maybe I blinked. GO KWIATO!

Whaaaat, Simon Spilak thought he won yesterday and raised his arm only to discover Tony Gallopin beat him to it??? That's so sad!

No pressure, guy.

I feel like Votre Copain Tony Gallopin should be some kind of children's programme about stranger danger or something.

Simonnnnnnnnn! I mean maybe he won't keep it, but that's a bit of redemption after yesterday's embarrassment.

Has there ever been a time when the last French winner of a race WASN'T Bernard Hinault?

Yikes, nice one Rui!

Holy shit.

God Kwiato took that turn like a BEAST. I thought he was gonna go over!

FUUUUUUUCKIN HELL RICHIE! That was insanity.

Now we have to watch this sad, loser's procession of Tony Gallopin!

Oh my jesus he's fallen off the podium.

And now they're asking him if it feels disappointed. COME ON.

Devastating.

Does Tony Gallopin remind anyone else of Doug Stamper? Is it the eyebrows?

I think Elia Viviani is like the kindest human being and most supportive teammate ever. He's always saying nice things and apologising for letting the team down when he's got like a broken arm and pelvis.

For some reason it's quite weird to end on a time trial.

Didn't last year have a huge dramatic run-in along the Promenade des Anglais? That was badass.

But anyway, I guess the point is: GO RICHIE.

The ninja will no doubt be thrilled.