Paris-Nice Prologue: Maurepas-Maurepas
Erm, am I writing Garmin's tweets these days?
Their social media has been ON FIRE this year, starting way back with the BenKing86/89 hilarity.
Well someone has been reading my dream journal, cuz this is ALMOST the perfect Garmin team:
Alex Howes
TJ Butcher
Ted King
Ben King
Dylan Van Baarle
Special Agent Jack Bauer
Andrew Talansky
Sebastian Langeveld
I might swap Andrew Talansky and Sebastian Langeveld for Nathan Haas and Moreno Moser. And Dan Martin as a reserve. But other than that, ACTUAL DREAM TEAM.
Ok I have been kidding about this whole TJ Butcher thing, but WHAT?!?! This is amazing.
Ok, let's race.
DVB is leading!
Oop well that didn't last.
Oh c'est pas mal hein? ...Ah non, 58eme, c'est moins bon.
It must be a little tedious to commentate on a time trial. I guess these jokers can be forgiven for not knowing entirely what is going on.
That was kinda a tune on the Lexus advert.
And then Eurosport is clearly using some AWOLNATION in their promos. Excellent stuff.
TJ BUTCHER IN THIRD
He shined so bright last year. BRING IT HOME THIS YEAR TJ!
Nico out on course. I'm so glad he's at Sky now and not working for Bertie at SaxoBank. He was using his powers for evil there.
Nice one from Cokey Tom. He was having some issues with his helmet midway through which slowed him down, but very decent in the end.
Richie off the ramp, confusing me cuz he's in his Australian Time Trial champ gear and all it's colours and not standard-issue Sky blacks.
...parce que Richie Porte un jour sans, ca peut être quinze minutes d'un coup!
That dude in the middle is so lucky.
Il a gagner l'étape reine a Willunga Hill.
Devant qui?
Devant Rohan Dennis, justement!
Not bad Richie. Third for the moment.
It is so fitting when Lars Boom is in a time trial and he rides with the warning BOOM behind him. What a ledge.
Panzerwagen is a go.
Special Agent Jack Bauer rollin' in. With the greatest nickname ever given: l'hero malheureux de Nimes.
That's practically a Shakespeare character. Or like a minor character from the Count of Monte Cristo.
Attention ca va jouer ca va jouer!
DO IT TONY!!!!
DAMN.
Oh. Well then who cares. We love you Tony!
PhilGil off to the races. No results as of yet, but you can't deny he's been killin' it this early season.
Hendy posting a very respectable time there.
Tiny John Degenkolb out there now too.
Which makes this an inappropriate time to go to commercial.
And offer extensive coverage of whatever this cross-country skiing thing is.
Cuz meanwhile THINGS ARE GOIN' DOWN!
Oh thank god I was really concerned for a minute there that I was gonna have to watch skiing for the rest of my life.
...and not a moment too soon. KWIATOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Wee Sylvain en piste, as they say.
Fuckin' hell Michal is not playin' around! How is he already in the finishing straight??
COME ON MICHAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, by 31 100ths of a second!!!
Brad Wiggins out now, to come ruin all the fun, as he does, always.
On the bike, Wiggo really looks like Oppy, the TDU Mascot. It makes me feel sort of queasy.
And on the opposite end of that spectrum, Michal Kwiatkowski is THE CUTEST MAN ALIVE!!! They're just interviewing him about being so excellent etc, and he is just so sweet!!!
Ah il est battu, il va être battu, et largement meme!
SUCK IT WIGGO.
Fucking hell and then one of the tv motorbikes hit a barrier! What the hell! Lucifer is riding with Wiggo here.
Tejay still out there!
But no.
HA, actually better than Brad, THE WORLD'S GREATEST HUMAN AND BIKE RIDER EVER, apparently.
What a dick.
Wish there was video, but the sentiment still stands.
Hubris.
Well we didn't see it but NICE ONE for Tiny John Degenkolb, in for sixth!
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!
Meanwhile, is Niki trolling his boss? I love it. Also the caption is weirdly hysterical.
Well Paris-Nice obviously got the memo about last year's Fireworks of Tirreno and has fired a BRILLIANT opening salvo in the fight for stage race supremacy. Your move, Tirreno.
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