Missile Defense

Stage 6: Aix-en-Provence - Montpellier

Last time we were in Montpellier, Cav won.

And last time we were in nearby La Grande Motte, this amazingness happened, The Road started to decide, and Cav also won.

This was chronicled-- along with huge tragedy, a good deal of hilarity, and Jens Voigt's brilliant synopsis of Gladiator-- in the most excellent film, Chasing Legends.

Huh. Taking out time trial wins (16 for Eddy Merckx!) Cav is ALREADY the leader in road stage wins.  And considering when you leave them in, the three men ahead are all Tour winners, well… CAV RULES.

Today we shoot off from the exchange student capital of France, with VDV (yay!), but without Jurgen Van Den Brocek and his knee fluid.

So, a day for the sprinters? A canny operator who can read the mistral wind? Or will Cav and Co. take a day trip off the front and put everyone to shame? Again.

"The Belgian squad will doubtless relish the possibility of crosswinds later in the afternoon. Be it in hail or shine, on the North Sea coast at the Three Days of De Panne or in the Arabian Gulf at the Tour of Qatar, Omega Pharma-QuickStep have firepower like few others when it comes to navigating the wind."  Even without Road Captain and Captain of Charm George Hincapie, THEY KNOW WHEN THE WINDS HOWL IN CALIFORNIA!

Talking of charm, I've just read about Hugo Koblet's nickname. The 1951 winner was known as the Peddler of Charm due to the fact that he always carried a comb and bottle of eau de cologne in his jersey pocket. His generation's Pippo Pozzato one might say.

"The pugnacious Frenchman is suffering from intestinal problems and compounded matters by being the first rider to come down in the crash in the finishing straight yesterday. L'Equipe's needlessly cruel headline this morning? 'Bouhanni, the dirty day.'"  That does seem a little extreme, unless he actually shat himself.

He could've shat himself.

"A phalanx of Cannondale riders are trying to move Peter Sagan up towards the front in preparation for the intermediate sprint but it's noticeable that the GC contenders are also trying to muscle their way in on proceedings at the head of the race."  Gee will have something to say about that.

With Ted King ruthlessly dispatched, there aren't too many chances for a US win on this, American's Birthday. Only Brent Bookwalter, Andrew Talansky, VDV, and Tejay are left and of all of them, only Andrew Talansky doesn’t immediately come to mind as a recent crash victim. So maybe a day for him? The shock and near-disgust that greeted Froomey’s quick turn off the front makes me think we won’t be seeing Tejay get up to anything too fancy. . 

"Bouhanni shakes his head in disappointment as the television camera draws near. He is a long. long way off the back of the peloton." They're really focusing on poor Nacer's misfortune today. I can't really handle it as I'm clearly not over the loss of Ted King. And painful, solo heroics always get me.

And poor Nacer can take no more.

This is the only time the cyclingnews text feed is preferable to the live feed, when you don’t actually have to witness the hideous moment of depression as a rider abandons.

Well except for that guy earlier, the bunch has pretty much stayed together all day.  No one wants to be caught out on the wrong side of the split and called an idiot.

Gee's falling off the back. His usual companion in lonely chases, Little Pete Kennaugh, is up front talking strategy with the Aussies.

"A double wheel change for Peter Sagan, who pops in a pair of deep section rims in preparation for the inevitable bunch sprint." SuperSagan is NOT MESSING AROUND.

Not messing around in the sprint, I mean. Cuz that facial hair is clearly a joke.

Winding roads from here to Montpellier, and still waiting for that wind split...

Brings to mind a classic Liggettism: "Around these corners there are some DEMONS!"

As if on cue, a crash.

Cav either down or caught behind. Either way the OPQS badboys will no doubt get their Queen Bee and bring him back to position.

Torn jersey means crash victim. And he's bunny-hopping across roundabouts on his own.

A Velits is now ushering him along, while up front Wee Sylvain does a Fab and slows the pace down.

"Gert Steegmans is directing traffic and he sends Niki Terpstra to the front to keep the bunch strung out."  So many great things contained in that one sentence.

Oh Christ Jani's gone down! As if he hasn't suffered enough!

Well as a man once under the tutelage of Lance Armstrong and Johan Bruyneel, of course Jani is back up and chasing.

And the inevitable split has come, not from the crosswinds after all, but from Jani's tumble.

Bit of argy-bargy, as they say, as Greipel tries to fit his thighs in there.

Harumph.

The text feed was woefully inadequate for the final dramatic Ks and then The Thighs won.

A damp squib ending to this day.

Though they have suggested that Daryl Impey may take the yellow jersey, which is exciting not just for history's sake, but also because his surname sounds like 'impish', which is why I like him.

From the highlights:
 

Road captain Hendy was NOT happy with... essentially his entire team, but mostly Marcus Seiberg. Not exactly the expertly-drilled sprint train he was hoping for yesterday: “You can’t sprint on the right hand side with a left hand corner coming up!” FUCK YOU GUYS I’M GOING TO GREEN EDGE!

That bunny hop is excellent. It fills my heart with glee.

Aww, Gossy's best memories of the Tour! Talking about how he got goose bumps the first time he came out of the tunnel onto the Champs Elysees "...and then the second time, and then every time! I got TOLD it would happen, and it did."

Tom Steels throwing that bidon is amazing. I was hoping to see a video ever since they mentioned he's been coaching OPQS on their sprints. It does not disappoint.

Fucking hell Jani! That was hideous to watch, he was just sitting there in the middle of the road.

"Cavendish's boys, losing a liiitle bit of control there-- oh no they're not."  Please, like control would EVER be lacking where Cav is concerned.

God Cav gave it a good go there at the end, all things considered.

They may have been kicked in the balls but at least the pack of jokers that is OPQS can find the humour in it.

I like Cav's glasses too. They're super stylish.

Hold the phone.  **Breaking News **Breaking News **Breaking News ... HELL YES.