Cross(wind) My Heart

Stage 13: Tours - Saint Amand Montrond

Well EBH suffered GBH, and Sky are one more man down. When the guy ushering you home is the one with the fractured pelvis, you know things are bad.

And it must be said again of Warrior G, certainly the most upbeat man with a fractured pelvis ever: #hardasamotherf#*cker.

Onto the stage...

OPQS LOVE a crosswind split. Classic stuff.

Kittel has been caught out.

Of course Matty "Second Place" Goss is in the second group too.

Pierre the wee show pony has pranced off the front for the single day's mountain point. SEE MY GLORIOUS POLKA DOTS!

Oooooh bad luck for Valverde.

What a terrible time for a mechanical.

By the side of the road with a few teammates: "Quick gimme your blood--- er bike!"

Oooh the gap is going up and up.

One more intermediate sprint win for Andre Greipel.  Is it because he's the only one who cares?

Phil and Paul are suggesting the second group are on the verge of psychologically giving up.

Bad news for Valverde who has to chase all the way to the finish to limit his losses.  Could the Belkin Boys (as they're now being called) leapfrog him in the standings?

What's Bertie up to?

What happened to Richie Porte???

Is he just in the back group? They make it sound like he's out of the race. Such alarmist commentary.

Oh Pete Kennaugh!  Still a bit wounded and hanging at the back after pitching down that ditch.

OPQS has crosswind split a crosswind split.

I mean to be fair it was Saxo Tinkoff who forced it but a few canny operators at OPQS managed to make the jump. The canniest of them all: Cav, Niki, and Chava.

Talking of Chava, is anyone doing any work at this Tour?  Tour de Japes, if anything.

I wish Nica wasn't working for the dark side.  It makes it hard to enjoy his very excellent work today.

Phil and Paul are getting a bit worked up about Froomey missing this second split...

"That's why he attacked like a MANIAC on the way up to Ax 3 Les Domains."

His team has "imploded", is "crumbling", and "he must be feeling very lonely" apparently.

"Chris Froome is in jail"??! That doesn't even make sense.  

G and his fractured pelvis have come to the front to save the day.

Well it's funny how I now HATE the split now that Froomey is being disadvantaged.

Niki just threw a bomb into that front group. He shot off the front and everyone starting swinging all over the road nonsensically.

It must be nice to interview Froomey.  I must agree with Christian Prudhomme's slightly gay assessment. Not the Paula Radcliffe bit, just the 'sweet voice' and 'expressive eyes'.

God, one of those epic days when they say 'his Tour is OVER.'

Alas Valverde; saves me having to deal with my difficult feelings surrounding his racing though.

Charly probably puts it best.

And if it sounds graphic, it was.

Well lord knows OPQS prefer winning to losing, and there will no doubt be celebrations and, like every evening I'm sure, Fun With Gert.

Vintage racing today.