Jackpot!

Vuelta Stage 7, Jodar - La Alpujarra:

WAHHHHHHHHHT!?!? DAN MARTIN IS ABOUT TO KILL IT.

Wee Pierre to Garmin, Dan to OPQS, shit is about to GET REAL.

Plus Adam joining (re-joining? I mean he's actually got quite the list of employers) the big boys at Saxo.

Not to mention Ryder and Pete Stetina to Trek, which is interesting if not LIFE CHANGING like the above.

Also, Kwiato, just tell us where you're going would you?

Also, why is everyone going to GP Canadas this year???? Guys, THE TOUR OF BRITAIN.

No, not you. No one's talking to you.

OMFG this poor soul who knocked down Bolt on that segway. He's giving him a bracelet and it is just like the saddest thing I've ever seen.

I don't understand why Universal Sports was all over it 3 days ago and now they are one day behind. I am left with Carlton Kirby and I don't know if I'll survive.

... I complain as I clearly watch some stolen hacked feed for free.

But seriously some of the most amusing stuff came on that off-air feed.

But I guess that's the price you pay for Ashley House and Juans to Watch.

'First cet-egory' (like kedgeree) is the best foreign pronunciation from Juan yet.

Also down the rabbit hole of adorableness (here meaning 'videos of Chris Froome'), these videos are the cutest. All five of them. I especially enjoy the behind the scenes look at being a DS, proving there's more to it than just being a superhot dude.

Though that's a big part.

Ok but seriously, is Adam Hansen LITERALLY THE CUTEST HUMAN THAT HAS EVER EXISTED?????! I love him.

If Carlton Kirby could say ANYTHING except "I think these guys might get away today, Sean" OVER AND OVER again, maybe I could pay attention to this race.

MERCIFUL GOD Universal Sports has finally come through!

Even the video quality seems better.

Anyway ok, this breakaway had 14 minutes at one point but is now down to 9 and a half.

Woah, all of Movistar to the front! ALL.

Olivier Le Gac?? Is that made up??

Who's this Columbia with a red number? I thought Stevo was Most Aggressive yesterday?

That break is comin' DOWN.

Hey Peter! Snacktime! ...Hot tea?

Comin' up to this climb now for the breakaway. Bout 3k to go. Gap down to 6.30.

Who's this Sky at the back? TheBoz?

Break onto the climb now.

And now the leaders too.

Aww this poor Caja Rual dropping off the back but thumbs-upping and smiling very sweetly.

Oh. Moreno. I did want to see you. I didn't mean to conjure you falling off the back of this group on the climb.

And lovely Adam.

Smile, peace sign.. MARRY ME.

Pierre? Front or back???

Back.

Grupetto Party!

Turns out I could write for Cycling Weekly. I can spot the stories.

Not gonna be happy today, our Peter. A mild 95 degrees for over 110 miles.

G's up at the front with his open jersey flapping in the wind.

Allooo Froome's elbows! Briefly glimpsed in passing. Chillin' near Nico.

Chava off the back. Nearly taken out by that Movistar's thrown bottle.

Dan well up there.

Tom as well.

Astana on the front now.

8k, breakaway with 3 minutes.

Jerome Cousin trying to get away from this breakaway.

Oh hey Dario! Well, bye Dario, I guess. Join the Grupetto Party!

The break's still doing dances up there.

Who's this Koshovoy kid? This better not be one of those exciting, explosive stages where a Lampre wins, thus dulling the whole day's affairs.

Sammy Sanchez?? He's always around in these groups, getting me excited, then it comes to nothing.

Jerome Cousin has now joined that Lampre.

3k with just over 2 minutes.

The 14% ramps come at 1k to go apparently.

Movistar back on the front. Not impressed with Astana's work it would seem.

Some moves back here...

Now Tinkoff-Saxo leading.

Rafal Majka second position, Dan behind him.

DO NOT LEAVE IT TOO LATE DAN.

The Lotto-Jumbo joined the two breakaways up there. So three ahead. Gap at 1.44.

Cousin going solo

What's kind of funny is Amets Txurruka already won the combativity award for today.

1k for those three but they are weaving all over the road.

DAN

Dan shot out but like almost immediately stopped.

Somebody do something back here!

Ah Froome! He's dropping!

And now Aru goes. THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT.

Froome back on. Everything is fine. Anything can happen now, it's all good.

This Lotto!!!!! THAT'S OK!!! LOTTO WINS NOTHING GO LOTTO!!!

Who even is this?!!!

Bert Jan Lindeman

Not even kidding, is this their first win of 2015?

FROOME!

Aru came in ahead then some other faves. Two Skys?? But not Froome? Nico I assume and G maybe?

Here's Froomey, with Sammy Sanchez.

Tejay even further behind.

Ok that wasn't that bad. Let's all calm down.

Straight back down goes Froomey. Got my water bottle, see you later.

Oh it was Nieve. So Froomey only lost like 30 seconds to the other main guys.

It was weird though, he didn't even look like he cracked. It was like he was back at the cars and got caught out or something cuz then he just powered up. Anyway, weird.

Those cheeky Irish though, Dan and Nico keeping a good position.

Whaaaa? Jerome Cousin got SCREWED! They're showing footage there of him like I dunno, completely being knocked out of his pedals and being left behind. Well that explains that.

Let's be real. Froomey doesn't need to win the Vuelta.

Juan also speaks Dutch?

"Yes tonight a big party!" confirms Bert.

Sammy pulling focus on this Mikel Landa interview.

It doesn't seem like a Sky Grand Tour without Leo. They always chatted to him regardless of what was going on cuz he's so lovely.

Haha, Rafal Majka looks like some dude they grabbed on the side of the mountain!! He's changed into a polo and hat and has like a messenger bag or something. He's like an exchange student!

Something about this Vuelta theme music is weirdly surreal.