Fleche and Blood

Fleche Wallonne:

Nice one, La Fleche.

No pressure, Kwiato but I LOVE YOU AND HOPE YOU WIN.

Bike racing is so chill.

Tim Wellens kind of has a similar profile toTed King.

Oh Ted, WE ARE SENDING YOU GOOD AND HEALING VIBES!

Breakaway of 7, with 8 mintutes on the peloton.

A look through the peloton and Wilco Kelderman is centre-middle of the pack. The LottoNL are desperate for a win and the young Dutchman is their best hope for today. Oh god, THIS Wilco Kelderman??

The most pleasant-faced man in the peloton, Sammy Sanchez, was limping around the start after taking a tumble in Amstel Gold. When lovely people are hurting, WE HURT.

DAN! GO DAN.

The break are approaching the Cote de Bellaire now.

Wow. If you ever want to nap, put on the audio commentary of snooker. Struggling to keep my eyes open here.

I LOVE HIM CAN HE WIN EVERY RACE PLEASE.

“I have a lot of emotion after winning Amstel on Sunday, so it has been difficult to concentrate. Since Monday, I’ve been really focussed on today’s race, so let’s hope it’s enough to do something today. I don’t know if I’ve recovered but we’ll see how it goes,” said Kwiatkowski. 

There is too much cuteness out there about him, I can't be objective!!!

I'm in love with that Huy road paint font too, I wanna get a slab of that road on my wall as art.

Hokaaaaaay, CHANGE COVERAGE NOW, you promised!!

We've reached the halfway point of the race, the break still has 6 and a half minutes lead.

There's always that moment of confusion on twitter when there are multiple races going on at the same time. Richie Porte is racing Fleche Wallonne?!?! Ryder Hesjedal bridged to the 7 man break?!!?

GOD DAMN YOU CARLTON KIRBY.

Fleche Wallonne are cray for emoticons. I LOVE IT. I think emoticon coverage in the new wave in commentary.

I mean it's already more eloquent than Carlton Kirby.

There's also some really fucking excellent sass going on from OPQS down there too!

Some ENORMOUS BEAST in the field just there. What the hell could that even have been? It looks like something made in a lab.

Was there a wee crash there? Some Lottos chasing back on and I thought I saw a Garmin waylaid on the side of the road.

Oh no!!! Not Belgian Ted!

And the Garmin was Ben King! What is all this Ted-related misfortune??

Mur de Huy for the first time of asking (though certainly not the last time of mentioning CARLTON KIRBY).

Oh my god, Dan has come down very badly. He looks in terrible pain and is limping around and not getting back on his bike.

Looks like Tiago Machado went down and dominoed a few people at the base of the climb. Riders were all over the pavement trying to get through.

Possibly Dan and whoever stopped with him have joined back on at the back there cresting the Huy? Let's hope!

Oh Dan. It's very all or nothing with Dan.

Cyclingnews say Dan crossed the Huy a minute down on the peloton so I guess that wasn't him following close behind. He's got two teammates keeping him company. Come on Dan!

I can't cope. I really want Dan to win now.

I am too sentimental for bike racing. It's all so emotional.

Aww Dan, he's hanging at the back. This is like the Fleche Martin. Or Dan Wallonne?

But honestly nothing else is going on.

Wee Pete Kennaugh on the front. But (wee) Dan Martin at the back. He's got Bling Matthews for company though.

We're headin' back to Bellaire. (I actually don't know the lyrics to that theme tune).

I would support more black shorts/white jersey combos. I am IN LOVE with Kwiato's rainbow kit and Wee Pete Kennaugh looks equally cool in his Engerland whites.

The break is breaking apart. Seems De Ghent is pushing the pace and dropping people left and right.

People coming unhitched in the peloton too.

An OPQSer driving the pace for Kwiato up front. Some Sky's right behind.

Etixx-QuickStep join the pace-making with world champion Michal Kwiatkowski sitting comfortably in second wheel. A number of riders are being dumped out the back of the bunch by this forcing, though Dan Martin is still safely aboard. Cyclingnews know there's only two people I care about.

Break is down to five men with 3 minutes 15.

Oh my GOD. NOT PHILGIL TOO!!!!!

He's reluctant to get back on. He's not even pedalling and they're just shoving him down the road. Missing half his shorts.

Chris Jones got in the UHC car. Sad face.

Oh Phil. He's had to abandon. Why are kindly-faced people being hurt all the time all of a sudden!!?

I thought up the title earlier in the day but now I think I've somehow hexed everyone.

Katusha are really fancying their luck today. They've been on the front all day.

Gap is down to under 2 minutes.

EVERY TIME I click back over to the feed someone else is on the floor!!!!

Anthony Roux looks to be out, as does Wout Poels. And there was a BMC in a ditch there for awhile.

And Ben King AGAIN.

Reporting everyone but Anthony Roux is up and chasing. The BMC was Amael Moinard.

A lovely u-turn around a picturesque farmhouse here. Provided everyone stays upright and no one pitches over round the bend.

Man, looks like they're pounding along here.

Not waiting around for our man Dan who I think has been distanced.

YOU ARE KIDDING ME.

Now it's Jelle on the floor!!!

And a Katusha that seems very injured.

Jelle is just sat on a bench on the side of the road now.

Meanwhile the break are onto the Huy again.

Is it Bretagne-Seche wearing Garmin-like colours? Confusing.

People are making moves now. I think the Witch Doctor just went off the front over the top of the Huy.

Oh my goodness. Someone (I think the Katusha) was just being loaded into the ambulance on a stretcher.

Ah it's LL Sanchez and Giovanni Visconti away with I think the UHC from the original break, who's dropped back.

So just 2 up the road with 39 seconds and 27k to go.

OPQS are out in force on the front to try and shut that down.

Those three have caught the front two.

Arrowage IS better.

Tony the Tank Engine is instructing his troops.

Awwwww Jelle has abandoned.

I mean he couldn't really have been expected to go on without Phil.

Lots of competing trains here at the front.

WHAAAAAAT? Attack Tejay Van??!!!!! YAAAAAS!!

OPQS killin' it with Kwiato looking very comfortable up there.

It's now just LL Sanchez and Visconti away ahead.

16k to go.

Tejay is out for the kill though.

Aww looks like the catch for Teej.

But I mean you can't outrun OPQS. That's like, one of the laws of nature.

Etixx-QuickStep have been very prominent in leading the peloton. They have understandable trust in the prospects of world champion and Amstel Gold Race winner Michal Kwiatkowski.

An enormous pileup. All of IAM, some BMCs, Froomey.

Froomey's back up but with a huge wound on his ass.

And reports one of the BMCs was Sammy Sanchez.

This is just insanity now.

7.4k to go. Gentlemen, start your engines.

They're on this new Cote de Cherave now. Kwiato sittin' pretty.

Of course the Shark attacks.

And Tim Wellens now trying something!!

Carouso from Katusha giving chase but Lotto-Soudal love a solo heroic!

2.5k to go. Mur de Huy comes at 1.3k.

He'll need a bit of time at the start of the climb but it's going out a bit!

Oh god he's there.

A GreenEdge tried a move but my god is it hard out there. He's caught almost immediately.

Belgian Ted is caught. A select peloton all together now!

This is killing me, I want to cover my eyes like it's a horror film!!

Oh no. It IS like a horror film. Valv.Piti is pulling ahead.

There's a GreenEdge and and OPQS on his shoulder but they can't seem to come round him!!

There's a Garmindale too!

NOOOO I HATE THIS AFTER ALL THAT.

What a waste of a day.

Fucking NICE ONE from Alaphilippe though! Well done young padawan!

And TJ Butcher in for 9th!

Small victories, I guess. To Liege!