Alright Alright Alright

Kuurne-Brussels-Kuurne:

It's because he is PRACTICALLY BELGIAN.

No one has names like this anymore...

I mean I was only talking about Valere Ollivier but actually that entire list is full of gems.

I hope we see Taylor out on the roadside incognito cheering.

Is the the sort of vibe we can expect today on La Houppe?

Looks like fine Belgian weather out there today.

Perhaps some fashion tips from Alex Dowsett would help?

STANNARD UP THE KWAREMONT

Styby looks like he's trying to make some kind of breakaway!!

He's got Tiesj and now Representative of the International King Dynasty Stefan Kung with him!

Hopefully Stefan stays on his bike today.

Back together again.

When did Cav stop doing this race?

And also why.

Maybe there's no point if Iljo's not there to pun on it.

I should note that there's a breakaway out there but meh. Jurgen Roetlands is in it and as well as a small tapas selection: Goujons and Kirsch.

We'll mostly be interested in this second group on the road with Styby and most of OPQS, Stannard, LE CROW, Peter, King Stefan, Tiesj, Tony the Tiger, Nikolas Maes, and some other chaps.

Also Greg.

And in the same vein, last years winner Jasper Stuyven.

Nikolas Maes at Lotto Soudal continues to throw me off.

Matti Breschel trying a move off the front of the peloton.

It would sort of be fantastic if he won so someone could say Congratulations...

You're still in the running to be America's Next Top Model.

This is excellent.

Luke riding near the front like a boss.

He's trying to indicate something to everyone. Unclear. It was almost like "ride on the cobbles', but then everyone went over on the bike path anyway.

Luke in a double OPQS sandwich is kind of a beautiful sight.

WOAH what happened there!?

Did Demare break inappropriately and SCREW TONY OVER??

He's back up now with a bleeding face but TONY.

That's hardly a way to make friends Arnaud.

Tony looks like he busted his eye socket maybe.

I mean I'm still not over the emotions of the TdF, I can't deal with this.

These tiny, windy Flemish lanes with fat Belgian men perched on the edge of a ditch is such classic imagery.

Where do you even buy those giant flag pole things?

In investigating this further, I must say: Chapeau, Tiesj fans.

Not to take away from the excellent, if rather specific, Stuy-Van.

Peter literally hopping around the group here.

If you lose to Greg again after these antics Peter I swear to god

50k and no more climbs. Boring escapees to be imminently caught with Chase Group Excellence about 2 and half minutes up on the peloton.

Renaat always sounds like he's shitting his pants. He's on the back of a motorbike right? Not just chillin' in a car?

Extra Time Koers?

Are they just promoting their show via the race boards now?

Oh my god it has never been more obvious that I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS LANGUAGE than watching this coverage right now.

The catch is coming and now everyone's going CRAY CRAY

Luke's eyeing up the group

UGHHH come on, catch these guys!! The peloton is catching YOU

It's basically gonna all come back together at once isn't it.

I'm not clear on anyone's game plan here

Who is this large Quickstepper?

Front group is now ACTUALLY the front group but the peloton are only 30 seconds behind.

Styby is having a whale of a time, it would seem.

Peter is NOT impressed.

Stuyven looks like he's doing a Stuyven.

Seriously it will be so dull if we get the exact same Nieuwsblad and KBK as last year.

I mean come on guys he is LITERALLY doing the same thing!! CATCH HIM THIS TIME

IT WOULD SEEM SO

Peter is taking this on. BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY.

He's got a Quickstep with him.

Trentin. Nice one.

They've joined the Stuy-Van.

Luke leading the chase behind.

Tiesj is also having a massive go.

Tiesj has made the junction

LUKE IS IN NO MANS LAND COME ON LE CROW

MADE IT

Let's make a podium out of this but not a shit one yeah?

I mean it's a matter of seconds but that's how it starts AMIRIGHT JASPER?!

Luke is hanging off the back but...

YOU CAN DO IT LUKE

Oop they've actually put a timer on it now. 15 seconds.

20 seconds with less than 20k.

It's going up. IT'S GOING UP.

Is that the Tornado Tom Frites sign? I love this country.

BELL LAP

30 seconds the gap

I think they're saying Luke can't sprint?

I'm not sure I can handle 13 more k of this I am so tense

Luke's touching Tiesj's bum for some reason.

Maybe that's their secret signal

You and me, buddy. And also Peter.

Also the picture is breaking up NOW

NOW?!?

Phew ok I nearly threw up with rage

10k

Gap is up to 42 seconds now with 8.5k OK GUYS SHIT JUST GOT REAL

5k

HOW WILL THIS END

Luke is shedding bottles

He's looking pretty focussed.

3k

I could vom

2k

Peter checking his shoes

LUKE IS RIDING WITH LUCKY NUMBER 13 I MEAN I DON'T WANT TO JINX THIS BUT

Tiesj went tentatively to the side

Everyone is swinging around hilariously

Luke just whipped round so aggressively he thought Tiesj was up to something for sure

TRENTIN IS GOING AND LUKE GOES AND PETER GOES

More swinging and ridiculousness

THIS ANGLE IS NOT HELPFUL WHY WOULD YOU USE IT

OH MY GOD SAGAN I'M SURE THE COMMENTATORS JUST SAID

He's gonna do this no probs

WHICH IS GOOD BECAUSE THE FEED FROZE

God the peloton was rather close there in the end

Jesus he opened up a preposterous gap

He just shovelled a load of.. nuts or something? sweets? into his mouth like a bear. What even is he.

Podium for Luke!

IS THIS HIS FIRST PODIUM I THINK IT IS

So BMC. The BMC-est.

Luke we are all hugging you.

Meanwhile Jasper looks like an old school crim.

Over to Peter. This should be a laugh.

Big goal is stay good. What a man.

Let's not waste time here chattin' to Stuyven.

YAASSSSSS

MY MAN

I don't even mind this winter facial hair which I normally REALLY do

He could've won the sprint with one leg by the looks of it

GOOD JOB LUKE

ROUBAIX IS WHERE THE HEART LIES

I sure love him.

ROWEEEEEYYYYYYYYY on the podium!!

He's adorbs.

Is he very tall? He looks excellent.

Well. That was rather great.