Tell us about it, Michal!
I love this so extremely.
Adam is such an effing hero.
Belgian Ted chillin' with some Garmindales at the faux depart there.
Classics riders are extra beautiful. (Although, including Valv.Piti?? How about you give us a shot of LE CROW)
Cuz obviously. Yeah, it's the Spartacus prize? The prize for being Spartacus.
I like really don't get this Herman the Sheep thing but I also kind of love it.
Trek have their work cut out for them today. Fab is such a natural salesman.
We've gone through kilometre zero but there is a delay to the official
race start as yellow jersey Fabian Cancellara has punctured in the
neutral zone! He is literally the King.
Dave Millar on this highlights coverage is hysterical. There's sirens and shit going off outside their little commentary tent and he keeps side-eyeing in their general direction.
Ugh. Vavl.Piti. Who "won" the past two Fleches and will try and "win" again today.
Ah that's better: Dan Martin sitting on a moat. WE LOVE YOU DAN!
"We're still in the fight" is practically the Garmindale credo.
Obviously we'll be looking for some Flower Power today.
OH HEY ROWEY
LE CROW is all over your tv.
I hardly recognise Martin Elmiger without his snazzy Swiss champs jersey.
OMFG Martin Elmiger was part of that horrific break with JACK BAUER that ended in tears.
Jens' use of twitter is so brilliant.
Kill me. DGC AND Kwiato's sassy posing??? THE HEART CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH.
Warren Barguil chatting animatedly with Alexis Vuillermoz.
Is Nikolas Maes spectating at the Tour??? What a cutie!!
Well Phil and Paul don't know anything about Australian geography but they love Adam Hansen as much as I do!
Coming up to Eddy Merckx's birthplace here, Meensel-Kiezegem.
Oh hey Jan! Little Jan Bakelants wearing number 13 upside down.
ADAM! Rollin' along like a dude there at the back.
God seriously I could be looking RIGHT AT Martin Elmiger and not know who he is. He belongs in red!
Ryder at the back here with Adam.
LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahh it goes on! SO MUCH LOVE.
C'mon he's ON FIRE today-- this is great stuff.
Oh hey Nico you gorgeous smiler you.
And ALEX at the front.
Garmindale are spending a lot of time at the back...
Many people say 'oh how long do they stop'. Well, they DON'T stop.
Everyone's just kinda rolling along in their teams.
OH Adam!!! He looks in such pain!!! He's wincing every time there's a bump in the road!
He's on Lil Tom's wheel who's on Ryder's so not in bad company but OH ADAM.
Cripes Tony Gallopin has got tinfoil in his rear wheel or some shit. That was a bit of a wild ride next to the mechanic for awhile!
I love how much everyone loves Adam. He should get Most Aggressive Rider just for BEING there.
Fucking hell they picked up that pace! Gap to the break is now down to 40 seconds.
Now down to 30 seconds. We're still 20k to the first climb.
Oh hey Garmindales.
20 seconds for the breakaways.
Little Tommy Voeckler dancing at the back.
You gotta be in front before the carnage happens, says Jens. Before the Big Bang happens.
I recognise Charly's aggressive driving in the convoy there.
Votre Copain Tony Gallopin has had an il-timed puncture and is chasing back on.
Oh god big crash oh my god.
OOF an FDJ went down and it is CARNAGE.
It looks unbelieveably terrible, people are flying over the road.
Oh god looks like yellow, looks like Fab.
They're saying it isn't, they're saying it's just Lotto.
IAMS, Rui, Lotto Jumbos, a Garmindale.
No it is Fab!
There is a mess of an FDJ.
Daryl Impey has a shoulder out of wack.
OMFG they're stopping the race.
Fab is back on his bike.
They're saying William Bonnet is being taken away in the ambulance, I wonder if he was that terrible FDJ.
God the race is back on apparently.
Hendy down too apparently??
Oh my god was that Fab that went SOMERSAULTING THROUGH THE AIR.
Oh Tom! Tom Dumoulin is out now.
Everyone is shouting at Christian Prudhomme. He has no control.
The race is now being physically stopped (not just neutralised) at the base of the climb.
This is chaos.
It's restarting. Gerro and William Bonnet out.
Ten Dam too. Hendy is back on his bike with Fab.
Everyone is all over the road and cars are everywhere. Fab is deciding what to do it would seem..
God now it's stopped again.
GET IT TOGETHER.
Vaughters is out on the road, Prudhomme is out on the road.
Team staff are just running through the group giving bottles and stuff.
Fab is heavy breathing but to be honest if that was him that went fucking vaulting through the air he looks pretty chill.
Oh do you know maybe it's his bike that does the somersault, looking at it again. But still.
Oh Oss!!!! He's bleeding from the eye and giving a comforting pat to an AG2R.
Oh Hendy. He's been torn apart.
Johan Van Summeren torn all apart on his back.
DVB is alive in the pack.
Michael Matthews with a massive chunk out of his back but on his bike.
Race is going again, neutralised to the top of the climb. Ten Dam apparently NOT abandoned, still in the race. Cuz obviously.
Unclear what's happened to Rui. Ned says he went over his handlebars and his twitter is incomprehensible.
Oh for the love of jesus, honestly?!?!! I'm going to weep.
Johan Van Summeren talking to Fab at the back. Hendy a little ways behind them.
Is Little Pete Kennaugh riding beside Marcel Sieberg to provide some comic relief?
Hard to tell if they're staging some kind of protest or just getting their wits back about them. Everyone is just riding along very tranquillo.
Hi. Says Fab to the race ref as he goes by.
The FUCK?! THE MAN IS MADE OF STEEL.
Seems we've got a race going now. Sky all together at the front. They've put Le Crow on the case.
Trek and Garmindale and Katusha and Saxo up there too.
Oh this sorry little band. Hendy, Van Summeren, Fab, Ten Dam and another guy back there just hanging on for dear life in the convoy.
Ooop, looks like a crosswind split trying to go here.
Astanas, Tinkoffs, a Movistar or two...
Sky's gonna get them though. That was fucking nervous for a second.
There's now a definite split but Sky has made the junction so I'm cooler about it now.
Fool me once, says the Shark of Messina..
Hey Kwiato!
Ist John???
Froomey's up in there very close to the front.
Fab is such a beast man. He's caught the back of the second group, despite I dunno, probably riding with a broken back.
G, Pete, Nico and The King are up there with Froomey.
Ian punctured at an unlucky time. Not sure what happened to Le Crow and Wout.
What's this now?
Oh. It looked like a break off the front but was in fact some riders trying to get back on.
TDF twitter is saying Rui is in the Fab group.
GreipelThighs got the intermediate sprint, cuz duh. Dege was hot on his heels though.
Awwwww, meanwhile it's not much better over in Austria!
All back together now apparently.
Garmindale taking OVER.
Oh Richie! I forgot about Richie earlier. There he is though, at the front. THE KING behind him and Froomey behind him. G up in there too.
John getting distanced here.
Most of the sprinters actually.
Richie killin' it on the front.
Shit that's a bit of a bend, and with COBBLES.
Jens explains riding at the front: You break at 30th place or 100th place and you gotta reaccelerate with like a thousand watts.
OPQS are swarming.
He is the World Champion. He's a real class act.
Please please please don't let me dare dream and then crush my tiny heart.
Julien Vermote leading the way!
Ugh people are dropping everywhere.
Kwiato is in second position. Froome is on his wheel.
Rafal Majka here too.
Oh cripes, a Tinkoff just went off into the bushes. Was it Majka?
G leading Froomey at the head of the peloton.
What's up with Michal?!! He looks stressed and talking into his radio.
Well he looks like he's up in there so I guess it's all good...
2k to go.
Oh god flamme rouge
Kwiato is waaaaaay back now.
He's out. Well boo.
JUST NOT VALV.PITI OK!?!!!
Froomey is pushin' to the front.
He's on the front!
UGH they're on the steepest section
He's climbing!!!!
He's trying to ride Bertie off!
Purito going on the side!
A lotto behind him!
Tony Gallopin??
Froomey's coming back!
GO ON FROOMEY!!!!!!!!!!!
GO ON!!!
DAN! Goddamn! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM??
Purito got it in the end! GO TINY CIGAR!
That's fine cuz FROOMEY WAS SECOND. KILL IT FROOMEY.
.. THEY'RE SAYING HE'S IN YELLOW NOW.
IT LOOKS SO RIGHT.
HUG, Rui!!!!
It looks like Peter's being read a bedtime story by his kindly grandfather.
What a day. We'll have to wait for updates on all the crashers.
No comments:
Post a Comment