The Sky is Falling!

Giro Stage 13:

Oh Phil! They're talking to him about his most excellent win yesterday and he said he almost didn't sleep the night before cuz he was so disappointed in himself!

Juan Antonio Flecha should host all things! He is so lovely and so enthusiastic and so pleased for Phil!

Whaaaaat, Rick is in the breakaway???? SHOW ME PICTURES!

Looks like Luca dropped his chain. What a pro though, so chilled.

A random level crossing now. Could they not just stop the trains? Rick's like 'uhhhhh, fuck this shit' and went round the police motorbike and practically under the barrier.

Commentators not convinced the gap was maintained and I'd have to agree. They held the peloton for like 1 second and the breakaways were there for days!

Rick likes gardening and Taylor Swift! The cutest!

Elia not pleased with his intermediate sprinting there. It's ok Elia, just win the whole thing!!!

Luca looks like he's wearing a onesie.

Classic. Elia says, "Yeah I'm going home today. Shame about the weather. And we're gonna go for the win."

Rick got the mini-sprint there!

Not a day for gondola riding is a good short story title.

Who is this guy interviewing people at the start? Everyone seems to hate him.

Cripes Rick just had to duck under the arm of a spectator like an agile cat.

This weather is RANK.

What up Ryder? You're enormous.

Snazzy neck gaiter Luca!

They keep going on about Luca's UCI-violating outerwear. First off Luca is a natural rule breaker.

Secondly, I don't want Luca to be punished, but there does seem to be a lot of violation going around, IN FULL VIEW OF THE COMMISSARIES, that's just being ignored. No one is wearing the correct outerwear, Pistolero took off his helmet, yet Richie is randomly SCREWED OVER for Friendship-Gate.

Phil got himself a little raincoat there.

Little look over at the camera from Rick. He doesn't look tired exactly, but maybe a bit fed up.  He does have a naturally dramatic face though.

Venice gets third most visitors after Rome and Milan??? Venice is the best!

Oh the catch. Jerome gave Rick a pat on the back. Rick took his hand. Then saluted the camera. I'm in love.

17k, gruppo compatto.

Ooooof crash spread across the road.

Seems to have happened before 3k.

This finishing circuit is a BITCH.

Ugh when Sacha Modolo wins it's like a waste of a day. SNOOZE.

So on the one hand I want the crash to have been inside 3k cuz then Richie won't lose time. But on the other if it wasn't inside 3k Pistolero will be SCREWED. This is hard.

They seem to be saying it was outside 3k, which means Bertie has lost his pink jersey!

Apparently this is the first time this has ever happened to him? They're freaking out. Is it that weird?

Woe is Richie.


Giro Stage 15:

The second half of this is gorgeous and adorable.

Hashtag mind tricks, love you Chad!

Oh Richie! RICHIE WE ARE WITH YOU!!

Also Hendy and Cokey Tom have gone home, so this Grand Tour got a whole lot less awesome.

Luckily Hendy's bestie and all-around DUDE Adam is still around! BREAK THAT RECORD ADAM!

A group trying to get away here.

Giovanni Visconti in the lead with a GreenEdge behind him.And like 15 other guys.

I thought Rick might be out there again and HE IS.

He's in a bit of a no man's land with like 12 guys. Giovanni, the GreenEdge and a Katusha are alone further ahead.

Looks like Giovanni, Zakarin, Intxausti is the group that's gonna stick.

Intxausti needs to give that blue jersey back to Simon. It's Simon's!

A chase group behind them as well.  Of little consequence.

But a BMC has shot off a front! IS IT RICK AGAIN?

Kosta is chasing away but it's unclear as to where...

Now it seems the chasers have been caught and replaced by Paulinho?

Oh wait. Maybe not. This coverage is unhelpful.

Paulinho caught the front three, making them four, and there are still indeterminate chasers out there somewhere. And then the peloton.

Now those three chasers including Kosta caught the front group.

Now Brent is chasing!

He has the most American jawline.

BMC are really trying to get someone away today.

Looks like Brent joined the front group, no thanks to this commentary.

Nom nom nom, we're in the feed zone.

It is gorge up in these mountains.

YAMS hanging at the back. With lovely Heinrich.

I hope Tinkoff are tiring themselves out riding all together up front there.

ooooh fugitives gone off. Giovanni, Brent, Kosta, and some AG2R have splintered away.

The rest are left to freewheel along waiting for the bunch. How hysterical.

Giovanni did a bit of a Froomey there; pulled out his earpiece and went away leaving Intxausti and his blue jersey behind.

Oh it's Hubert Dupont, the AG2R.

Snooze fest with this Tinkoff procession all day.

That's a hard turn onto the mountain. That's gonna be hard for a peloton to navigate seeing as four guys barely managed it.

Manuele Boaro up at the front now. Kind of a dude.

Brent has been dropped very early on this climb.

But the breakaway is losing time anyway.

Phil being dropped from the main group. And a Garmindale too.

Is Richie being dropped????

Why is he with all these CCCs???

OH RICHIE.

Oh god Uran Uran is down the back as well.

Looked like Iljo back there with him.  The #Girodiljo is my favourite Grand Tour.

Kreuziger and Basso being dropped.

Astana are covering more of the front now. Never thought I'd prefer that.

Representative of the International King Foundation is still up there. Thank god.

Brent, give up dude.

Oh Dario, falling behind now.

And Brent is caught.

Kruijswijk trying to get away on the descent!!

Darwin was down on his belly but straight back up.

Mick Rogers caught up in that too.

Danger corner.

Contador is isolated. KILL HIM!!!!!!

There's like 10 Astanas and ONE Contador. DO SOMETHING!!

There's only like 20 people left in this peloton.

Ah the breakaways are going to be caught. Kosta is stocking bottles to bring to the King.

20k.

Damiano Caruso there for BMC. Wooop wooop!

Max Monfort too.

Some pretty big hitters up here.

And by that I mean: the people in the top 10 that I like.

Giovanni is full of fire today. He gestured very aggressively at Diego Rosa just then.

They've caught Hubert DuPont who was up there alone for awhile.

A second group back there with Ryder and VDB and Ion Izziguire and Cataldo maybe.

I knew Ryder was going for it!!

GO RYDER!

BRIDGE RYDER!!!

Are we gonna snooze all the way to the top here or what??

Literally what is the point of having all these Astanas up here if we're just gonna ride along all together to the end?

Fucking tell me about it!!!

Hardman Laurens TenDam is in your corner, SO DO SOMETHING!

Max Monfort dropped.

Caruso looks to have been dropped.

Up front: 2 Astanas, Aru, Bertie, Trofimov, Kruijswijk, The Lion King, Amador.

Ryder is poppin' gels and still going for it!

Styby is watching at home and retweeting what we're all thinking.

3.5k to go.

Well there it is. Contador away.

Landa's staying on him though.

Tofimov and Aru join them.

Aru kind of going for it but it didn't really go anywhere.

Landa goes again!

Twitter is ahead of the feed so we're in 1k technically!

Might be for Trofimov today!

ANYBODY BUT BERTIE!!!

Ooh lala it's Landa say the French commentators!

I LOVE LANDA!

YAAAAAAY!!

IT WASN'T BERTIE!!!

Koning killing it to keep those gaps small.

Tangert so pleased for his man!

RYDER!!!!! Coming in 12th? That's got to be good right?

Why don't they talk to Caruso? They're just keeping a camera on him through a fence like a bunch of creeps.

The King into 5th!!!

I think Caruso and Max moved up too.

Uran Uran comes in 8 minutes down. No news on Richie.

Awww Mikel Landa is very likeable!!!!!! He's really having a good go at speaking
French!! It's so sweet!

Oh my god why is Leo wearing a giant coat?? He's so cute! LONG LIVE THE KING!

We love you Damiano!

Oh another interview with Leo, hoping to gain back time from 'that stupid crash and that stupid wheel change'.

I love literally every other person in this race except Bertie.

Can't somebody give him a Merckx-style gut punch?