You Spin Me Right Ronde

Ronde Van Vlaanderen

(A brief report as this one was taken in socially at the Rapha Cafe)

Cokey Tom was flirting with the sign on team. They're lovin' it, I imagine.

We check in on the race and TAYLOR is in the day's breakaway!!

Ugh. #Rain #Rain

Some wild imagery here. Niki alerting the group to an upcoming turn but looks like he's raving.

Ted on the front! G there. Where's our TaylorBreak?

Best split screen ever: Head of Race- Taylor Phinney; Head of Peloton- Ted King

Taylor looks so good on the bike. Which is weird cuz he looks so good off it.

It looks HARD out there.

Everyone who crashes crashes for real though. Ouch.

Now split screen Niki and Taylor. Do these two know each other? They should be best friends. Might be a japes overload though, if such a thing were possible.

Taylor is looking STRONG.

#Crash #Crash.

Jesus. Crashes every 10 seconds.

The banding together of everyone is making me sentimental. Popo went down really hard and all the fans started gathering around and redirecting traffic to keep him out of harm's way.

Why was Niki off the back just then? And why we're GreenEdge holding each other's lower backs as they rode along? So many unanswered questions.

What a chase group! Quinziato, Matteo Trentin, and Bernie!! This race today is like a sales advert for cycling!

Quinziato obv trying to bridge up to partner in crime Taylor. But the fan fic stops there.

Ok, just one more. Because this team is BEYOND FANTASTIC.

Can Stijn Devolder stay up on a bike??? (Twice!! In this race alone!).

...Can G?

Fab just turned on the motor on his bike and left everyone (cept Seb) behind. They couldn't even COPE.

This is an IMPRESSIVE chasing group. All the big hitters are here.

Oh my Christ, Fab's SUPER HOSTILE gesturing at the escape group was incredible!! DO SOME WORK FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

Stijn Vandenbergh is doing literally NO work. Greg has been out there on his own for awhile and Seb isn't gonna be caught out again, but FAB AIN'T NO FOOL. He's not dragging these guys to the finish.

That was the most ridiculous cat-and-mousing ever seen in cycing. Fab, Seb, Greg VanAv and Stijn practically fell off their bikes with the standstill.

I was going to vomit from the tension of that finale. If anyone won other than Fab my tiny heart would've broken.

Niki chased to a top 10 finish in the end! I love Cokey Tom but Niki has shown INCREDS form this season. I thought he had a legit chance of catching the 4 escapees for a minute there!

Ok, image of the season: Fab sittin' behind the podium, beer in hand. He tries to twist the cap, and failing that, pops the top on the table beside him and chugs it down. ABSOLUTE. FUCKING. LEGEND.


Scheldeprijs

Apparently nothing is going on an everyone is riding around in the sun having a casual time. I am Niki-Bored.

Biggest news is that triple-winner Cav isn't with us today. After his early season overshare about voms and the shits, I haven't delved too much into the 'why' of it.

Fab is with us today: "Everyone is different and I've always chosen to do this race. Tomorrow we'll study the cobbles of Northern France and hold a press conference. Sunday will come fast."

Brad Wiggins is also with us. I thought his whole early season was just about getting fat for Roubaix, but here he is, exercising and all.

Does Adam Blythe even race anymore? Or does he just make a profession of hangin' with Taylor and lovin' the Monaco life?

I mean. I'm obviously jealous.

Can one apply for this job?

Or maybe the job of covering Scheldeprijs because it's clearly not being done by cyclingnews?

Well we're all showing our true colors here:

Bradley Wiggins put on a show on the podium, calling the trophy ‘the most ugly thing he ever saw’, and raising a big scare for the host on the podium when he took hold of the trophy and tested its durability. Haha, good joke Brad! Oh wait, you're a dick!

Fabian Cancellara wondered how to share the trophy with the team-mates.

Fab is only here for Roubaix prep and is on hand to support his less-superstar teammates in the sprint, but may just pull a Sagan and win anyway.

Gap is down to 1'10 with 11k to go.

Rowe won't give it up though.

45 seconds and 7k. We may have a Phinney here.

OPQS won't go down without a fight. Cokey Tom and now Matteo Trentin are drilling on the front.

Caught at 3k. One for the collection.

Ok. That came up as like 8 concurrent tweets: 5OPQSonfront-3OPQSonfront-Bunchsprint-Boonen-1k-Kittelwins!

Well. Have your hat-trick, Marcel. Roll on Sunday!